Life

how to gracefully open a can of worms

by theminimalistmom |

If you haven’t ditched your unused and unloved stuff yet, if you’re mulling it over, if you’re scared to take the first step, not because of the work involved but because of what it will mean for the rest of your life, I understand.

You’re probably thinking that if you decide to live with less you will:

  • never enjoy shopping again
  • never buy something on a whim
  • never have the thrill of buying something on sale
  • have to start living a life full of the word NO

My word for 2012 (thanks to Amber for the word idea) is wellness. I’ve written a bit about some nutrition changes we are making but I’m also working on some other areas like reducing chemicals in our home, wearing shoes that are kind to my body and sitting less (I’ve been using boxes to create a standing desk).

Some days I wonder if it’s really possible for me to give up gluten filled and sugar sweetened cake for the rest of my life. Or brie.

Some days I think that I should not read that book on household toxins because once I know, then I have to act.

Some days huge change just seems like t0o much work. I’d rather forget what I’ve learned and the results I have seen and eat a lot of sourdough toast with jam and keep using Windex.

But then I think about the changes my husband and I have made with our spending, buying and stuff in the last two years. And how hard it was in the beginning and how it is now, mostly, just habit.

I still shop. Just a lot less. And, even better, what I do have I use a lot and like. No more closets full of bargain clothing for a stranger’s life.

I enjoy getting a bargain even more now because what I am buying has been a well thought out and planned purchase. A good sale price is the gravy, so to speak, not the impetus for purchasing it.

When we went to Edinburgh over the holidays we visited the Scottish National Gallery. It’s lovely. Visit it if you get the chance. They had a sweet store in the gallery with some Scottish artists and, on a whim, because my hands were very cold and I don’t have winter mittens, Chris bought me a beautiful pair of Donna Wilson mitts as a birthday gift.

So sometimes, on a whim, we buy things that are beautiful and functional. Even if they weren’t on a list.

But the better part, the silver lining, is that that stuff we do own, owns us less and less. So when something breaks or needs replacement I don’t sweat it. We’re out of debt and in good shape financially. Getting my boots re-heeled doesn’t mean there won’t be food on the table and it doesn’t add to some ever growing credit card balance.

The other week I was out with Henry when a wind storm kicked up. At one point I was bracing the stroller against me to prevent it from tipping over. When I got home I reached into my pocket and only one mitten came out. I was a bit sad at the loss but c’est la vie. It’s just a mitt. Better a mitt than the stroller tumbling into the street with my boy in it.

If you get on this path, if you decide to start living with less, I can promise you it will bring you so much more.

It won’t be a life of no because you’ll start saying yes to the things you really want, things that you can’t buy. Health, love, hobbies, fulfillment and joy.

So, please, go ahead and open that can of worms in 2012. You won’t regret.

 

 

  • I’m dying to start down this path. The thing is, the more I think about it, the more I want to buy stuff. I’m financially savvy, so we don’t have credit card debt, but we do have a mortgage and some student loans. We have almost enough in savings to pay off both of these debts but we like to have the money in the bank so we continue to pay interest on our loans. So, my point is, we aren’t strapped either. So, I’ve never been a frequent shopper, but lately I find myself wanting things. I don’t know if it’s just that I know myself better, and therefore want to buy things that suit us better at this time that what we already own. (In all honesty, if I could make a decent amount of money, I would let someone come take nearly everything in my house so I could buy exactly what I wanted to replace it all. And I wouldn’t buy that much.)
    So- just thinking about getting rid of stuff makes me want to buy. Like I am scared I will never get anything new again. I also find myself paralyzed when looking at all I want to get rid of so I can’t even start the process. I’m stuck. And the last thing that adds to this paralysis is that I have an arbitrary “worth” for an item in my head and feel that if I don’t get it, it will be a huge disappointment. (and that “worth” tends to be high-ish since I like to save money and want to make a respectable amount on the things that are still good and useful.
    All this to say, how do you do it? How do you start? Does it really take a year (or more) to get it done? I just want it done NOW!

    • I went through a similar process in our first year. I struggled to stop buying things and I wondered how I would ever get to a place of not coveting something in a store window. It happened. I’m not “perfect” and I often still see something and think, that would be nice to have. But it’s a lot easier to say no to things. How did I get here? Time, creating new habits, filling in some other areas of my life (health, relationships, hobbies) that I had been neglecting. When I’m in a good place mentally and physically I find gadgets and clothes aren’t that tempting.

      Depends on your home but yes, the decluttering can take a while. I thought it would be 2 weeks for our 2 bed, 2 bath condo. It was 3 months of work plus more. Depends on how much you want to sell and how much you to donate.

      My biggest advice: have some patience. Set small goals like a room or a closet. You could also try setting a goal like X number of things this year or month. A lot of people are doing a get rid of 2012 things in 2012.

      Hope this helps and let me know if there is anything else I can help with. It is worth it – I promise!

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  • Trying so hard to get out of debt in the next couple of years – it is a top priority. The cool thing about getting rid of stuff is the feeling/ knowledge of freedom! Part of my project for the year is to not buy anything (well except food, etc) – if something really needs to be replaced buying it will be the last resort. For example, my 14 year old discovered he needed a new winter coat (he’s grown a lot) AFTER I started our project. One status update on facebook and we had several winter coats to choose from! We got what we needed and someone else decluttered an unused item from their cupboard. It was a great feeling.

    Diane
    http://www.simplyonpurpose.blogspot.com

  • The can of worms is tricky isn’t it? There is so much good information out there on minimalism/reducing our environmental impact/diet etc, etc. When I am in the ‘information gathering’ mode I find it exciting and can’t wait to get started. But then there are days where I want to spend money on things I don’t really need, eat bread and throw something away without thinking if I could have recycled or composted it! Most times though I feel that I am on the right track and I must say that your blog has helped me on this journey. My husband and I picked out a word for the year the other day so I was interested to see that you have done the same thing! Our word is ‘lean’ as in financially lean, physically lean (diet and exercise)…you know remove the excess and ‘fat’ (literally and figuratively) from our lives.

    A couple of Canadian authors to consider regarding environmentally friendly cleaners/ beauty products are: Gillian Deacon (‘Green for Life’ and ‘There is Lead in Your Lipstick’) and Adria Vasil (‘Ecoholic’, ‘Ecoholic Home’ and ‘Ecoholic Body’). I do also have some simple recipes for home cleaners that I got from Green Calgary. Let me know if you would like me to send them along. Hope this helps!

  • Those mittens were gorgeous though! However so true about mittens being less important than Henry.

    Iain’s car just got totalled and he’s still really sad (it has been in the family since 1994) but I keep trying to tell him.. the car did it’s job and protected him. No one was hurt. Yes, it’s sad but she did her job well.

  • Definitely is hard to change any habit at the beginning, but well worth it in the end. Love your new word for the year. We all need to seek wellness in all areas of our lives, physical, financial, temporal, spiritual etc…..I focus on all those areas on my blog too!
    Amy
    crazyclutterlady.blogspot.com

  • Look into getting a Norwex Cloth and you’ll need only water to clean your whole house.
    They also have body cloths to eliminate the need for any facial or body soap! It’s a Canadian company.

  • Wellness – an excellent word for the new year. Physically I can choose to eat healthy foods and get more exercise, but having a messy cluttered house doesn’t help my mental health. It’s all a matter of making decisions every day to either work for or against my total well-being. All of this reading about minimalism has challenged me and messed with my mind (in a good way) more than anything. Oh Rachel, sometimes I get so impatient to be rid of my stuff, to not have so much to take care of, to stop moving things from room to room instead of dealing with it, and to not have so much work to do when company is coming. It’s hard work, and I’ve made some progress, but I have a ways to go before it’s “done” and this new lifestyle is a new habit. Thanks to my husband, we are completely debt free. Thanks to me, our house is cluttered!

  • Hi Rachel!

    We’ve been reducing the number of chemicals in our house over the past several months. I read, “Healthy Child, Healthy World” and found it to be an excellent resource for reducing environmental toxins of all kinds. They have a great Website too (http://healthychild.org/).

    There is so much that we’re exposed to that we can’t possibly eliminate all of it, but reducing our exposure where we can has to help, right?

    P.S. I have a really great non-toxic all purpose cleaner recipe if you want it!

    • Jenny – I’m looking for a recipe for a face wash/cleanser that I can use daily (has to be something washed off with water, I don’t do cotton wool I hate the stuff it sets my teeth on edge and also i don’t want to buy it :-)). I want something that’s natural but I don’t want to be making it each day, and preferably not have to store in the fridge (as you know I’m a little precious about the contents of my fridge). Do you think such a recipe or ingredient exists? Jo

      • Jo – I’ve been using the oil washing method (http://simplemom.net/oil-cleansing-method/) for the past two weeks and I LOVE it.

        It goes against everything I’ve ever thought about cleaning my skin. My skin is sensitive and acne-prone. But my face has seriously never felt or looked better since using this method!

        I’ve been using one part castor oil to three parts extra virgin olive oil (organic). Once you figure out the right combination for your skin, you can mix the contents in a little bottle and store in your bathroom (I’m using a little empty glass vitamin E oil bottle).

        It’s really inexpensive and effective.

        • That’s quite strange as I had tried pure olive oil (just as a hunch) as a face wash and then stopped because I couldn’t decide if it was the right thing to do! I’m going to check out the recipe and try it. It would make sense for me anyway as I have dry skin! I’ve been using a face-wash recently again but it makes my skin all itchy and tight!

        • wow, i’ve never heard of this before but I love the sound of it. we’ve been trying to go more natural- less chemical in general at our place but i also don’t care for ton of extra work, this sounds simple- going to give it a try!

  • I don’t know if anyone else is wondering this, but…what did you do with that other mitt? I like to think that I’m pretty minimalist these days, but some things really puzzle me. I wouldn’t know what to do with that other mitt. Did you throw it away? Did you choose to have just one warm hand? I’d have a hard time justifying keeping one mitt, but I’d also be just as pained to throw away a perfectly good mitt.

    I get stuck in those thought loops sometimes. My minimalism fights with my frugality often. One wins and the other one winces.

    Thanks for the great post, by the way.

  • Good things rarely happen overnight. Change of life takes time and perseverance. It is worth it. The end of October saw us become totally debt free, did this happen over 12 months? no, it took years of small actions. It can be a waiting game. What you have achieved is astounding, a true inspiration, and what you decide to achieve next you will!
    I’ve considered posing about my new found guilt-free purchasing. It’ll probably come, but it’s one of those posts I’d need to be in the right frame of mind to write. Like your mittens, we now ‘go for it’ ocassionally – well kind of – it’s quite considered. Previously when buying on a daily basis, purchases became a source of concern and guilt. I had so much ‘tat’ that I started to lose confidence in my own ability to choose wisely. Now I don’t buy things, well hardly. So when I wanted a garmin GPS last summer, I was talked into buying it by the Hubby who knows I no longer buy on a whim. Same as our DSLR. Two days before Christmas we decided to buy a new camera – guilt free. When you go without the insignificant you can easily enjoy the significant more!

    • When you go without the insignificant you can easily enjoy the significant more!

      That’s it. That’s what Chris and I have talked about. Now that we don’t have debt, don’t stock up on junky housewares or clothes because we wanted to shop or there was a sale, now that we’ve done that we really can spend when we want to and enjoy it.

      And good for you! Don’t want to pry but is that mortgage free too?

      • Yep all done and dusted..
        You could do what I did ref the mitt. When Dan’s blankie got lost in town I contacted the town centre management, they even checked the bins for me! Next step was local press, but he’d gotten over it at that point (well kind of…)

    • I’m so excited for you Jo!

      I’ve so enjoyed following your journey this past year. You’ve made significant contributions to our reduction in food waste. Seeing your “No Waste Tastes Great” post every Friday propels me to be conscious of what food comes in to our house (and I examine the cleanliness of our fridge more often!). Because of your diligence, we’ve seen our food waste dwindle to almost nothing! It’s now a rare day when I have to throw a food item out. Thank you!

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