Internet

The Internet (it’s a love hate thing)

by theminimalistmom |

This is a the third in a series on digital de-cluttering (Facebook and browsing were previous topics).

Mostly, I really like the Internet. It connects me with friends and family, allows me to research pretty much anything and allows me to write about and discuss minimalist living with other families.

But often I find myself “zombie surfing”: spending time glancing through websites and articles without finishing anything or doing much with real purpose. I check my email but don’t end up answering any of it. I browse Twitter but don’t read any of the interesting articles people recommend and I don’t engage in a conversation. I restlessly move from thing to thing without absorbing much or doing much.

When I zombie surf:

  • I spend less time playing with my son
  • I talk to my husband less
  • the laundry piles up
  • dinner is served late
  • I experience more writers block (because I am not out living and filling the “well”)
  • and the kicker: I don’t read anything mind blowing and I never end up writing much that I like.

In general, I don’t like my days when I spend too much of it online or connected.

And yet, I blog and have self-published a book. To grow both of these things I should be out knocking on a lot of virtual doors and connecting with other writers and bloggers.

What to do?

First, I’m not convinced success with this blog or with my book hinges on tweeting every event of my day and following 5000 movers and shakers. Despite what some people have told me, I still put a lot of faith in quality over quantity.

Second, based solely on observation of myself, I get more done when I spend less time online. When I open my laptop with a set window to respond to emails or write, I write faster. I’m more engaged.

Blog posts or book chapter ideas never pop into my head when I am zombie surfing. They usually happen when I am walking or just going about the rest of my day – housework, time with my son or a discussion with my husband.

To keep myself on track I’m implementing a few guidelines for Internet use starting this week:

  • Internet free weekends. This is going to be a challenge. I usually Skype on Saturday afternoons with family. Might make an exception for that but I will use Chris’s iPad to log into Skype so I am not tempted to check my email. I made some attempts at this a while back and when I got it right, and stayed offline for the weekend, I felt refreshed and ready to write on Mondays.
  • Put my laptop in a cupboard. In the evening I’m going to put my laptop in a cupboard, out of view, along with my iPod. Out of sight out of mind.
  • Check my email only when I have time to respond. Why do I check my email in the morning when I know I can’t really sit down to respond to anything at that moment? Nothing urgent arrives by email – it arrives by phone. So I need to stop checking my email multiple times a day.

It’s not all doom and gloom. I have done a few things in the last two years that have helped me use my connected time wisely and less frequently. If I could recommend two of them they are:

  • Be cautious with your smart phone. Don’t keep it in your bedroom at night and leave it at home one day a week. Take the push function off so emails aren’t automatically downloaded as they come in. If you’re really struggling with the 24/7 connection of your smart phone consider switching to a basic cell phone. My husband and I did it and won’t go back to smart phones unless a job requires it. We’ve gained better family time and better dates with no smart phones.
  • Lower expectations for your response time. I know, if I was at a job they would not like my attitude about responding to email when you have time, not as soon as it comes in. Sometimes I have a window to engage in a discussion in the comment section here the same day I post something. Other days I might not get to responding for 24 hours or more. I do my best but I’ve also decided that people, particularly anyone reading here about simpler and slower living, will be more than forgiving if I don’t get back to them instantly.

I know I am not alone in the challenge to use the Internet wisely and with intention.

Who else struggles with this? Have you set parameters that work for you? I would love to hear your suggestions for wisely using time online and also what you struggle with.

 

  • I am so bad at being disciplined with my time when I’m online. I know I should do better and set parameters, but it seems that while I’m trying to get my blog up and running (and noticed) all I do is surf, post and research. I have been much better in the past and I hope to get back there again.
    http://www.simplyonpurpose.blogspot.com

  • I’m definitely guilty of zombie surfing and having way too many tabs open at a time! Time to get outside and enjoy the rare Vancouver sunshine with the girls!

  • What a great post! Thanks for putting a name to what I spend too much time doing…ugh. Its hard to unplug at first, but I definitely think I’m going to try and do an internet-free Sabbath on Sunday. Thanks for the inspiration!

    • Thanks, Debbie. I didn’t quite meet my goal this weekend of completely unplugging. Had a Skype phone call and also forgot I had a grocery delivery booked for Sunday (had to meal plan and finish the grocery order). Otherwise I was way less connected. It was great!

  • This spoke to me as I was going through my Google Reader at 5:30 this morning, awake from a new little baby whose notion of time is much different from the rest of ours!

    As part of the 10 Day Family Re-charge that is starting tomorrow with Erin Goodman, I will be taking a blog reading break and pinterest break! Ooh, so hard – but I see how it takes me away from my other priorities. Two other habits I am going to bring back: no electronics after 9pm and checking email only twice a day.

    Thank you for the reminder! Have a great weekend!

  • I’m too guilty of having too many tabs open on my laptop making it hard for me to focus on the task on hand be it blog writing/ responding to e-mails etc.
    I now try to limit myself to 10 min max each time I sit down at the computer. I find it more effective that way .

  • I too have a love/hate relationship with the interwebz. Being a “zombie” was a perfect term to explain what happens to me. I despise it, yet it’s the only convenient way to stay connected to almost everyone. I belong to homeschool groups and they set up all of their events online (weekly).

    I have started using Leechblock (Firefox add-on) to limit my surfing, it helps 🙂

  • Great post. I have been thinking about doing this for a very long time I think now’s the time to finally do this!!

  • I was thinking just yesterday how simple my life was before I had the internet, it wastes so much time. I’m thinking about not using it on weekends or when my family is home. I’m always so happy on vacation & one of those reasons is because I don’t have access to the internet & so I really can be present in everything going on around me. I think your title for this post is SOooo accurate for me right now. Thanks=)

  • Thanks, Veronica. Being “connected” and online has become insidious in our lives. I’m feeling a strong need to turn my back on the constant connection lately and find a happy medium for myself. An end to Zombie surfing!

  • And I thought that I was the only one doing zombie surfing! It reminds me of the time people used to browse on tv hoping to find something to watch. Have you seen the episode in portlandia about being hooked on too many devices? So funny.

  • My New Year Resolution for 2012: no more internet past 10pm. I am loving it so far. I get to read more and get more sleep.

  • I’m not perfect (who is) but I restrict my time online I believe by using a desk top PC, not a laptop so I shut the door on my office space and turn it off. However if I leave it on (like now) I pop in and start looking around. It’s knowing which days I can afford to do it and which I can’t. I spend a lot of my weekdays on my own, so to pop over to here, or another virtual home and catch up which is great for me. The weekends however when family time is the priority I hardly log on. I stopped blogging at the weekend a while back also. My smart phone I rarely use to access the internet, it may be because as I’m getting older my eyesight’s getting worse and it’s a struggle to read the screen! 🙂 As for my iPad – that just turned into a rather expensive e-reader…
    When inspiration strikes – I write most blog posts in a notebook which I keep with me as I rarely feel the need to write when actually at a keyboard!

    • Have to agree on the portable vs. stationary computer. I can’t even remember the last time I had a desktop computer but I know I spent a lot less time on it back then! While the laptop is great for portability and space saving, it does allow you to set-up shop anywhere in the home.

      • Meant to add last weekend I traveled to a remote location (on my own) in the Welsh Hills. No phone signal, or internet. I got lost twice trying to find the log cabin and had to resort to good ole fashioned communication. Getting out the car, ditching it in mud and walking round deserted tracks and farms shouting ‘hello is there anybody there!’ . It restores your faith in the human race when complete strangers come to your aid – face-to-face…

  • Pingback: February Phonecation | meli-mello

  • I am terrible about using the internet too much. I’ve just let myself get into the worst rut. I recently learned about a computer program called Freedom that you can use to lock yourself off of the internet for a specified amount of time. It has helped, though I need to have the discipline not to just use my iPad instead. If you have a Mac, there is a similar program called Concentrate that lets you block certain time-suck websites while allowing you to visit sites that help you get work done. I’ve gotten used to the fast-paced internet where something new and interesting is always happening (or so it seems). Life offline seems boring by comparison. I need to kind of reset myself.

    • Resetting right now. I know what you mean. My son is napping so I am taking a bit of time to respond to blog posts. I have one tab open in my browser and will single task until I have finished what I needed to do here. If you need a buddy on this ‘project’ let me know – I’d love to have someone to check in with once a week on it. Cheers, R

      • Oh, yes, if you feel like it would help to team up by all means shoot me an email any time. My son and I had a full day out of the house today and it felt SO good! My phone isn’t great for internet access, so I was basically disconnected the whole time.

        • 🙂 I will. I am thinking about making an informal forum – a once a week check in for those that are working on reducing their connection compulsion. I’ll shoot you an email if/when it goes up. I need accountability!

  • I have a friend who works at blackberry and he likes to remind people that there is an OFF button. We always laugh at him, as no one seems to know where it is….

  • I tend to zombie surf when I’m avoiding a task or when I’m overtired and need to just go to bed. To avoid wasting time on the internet I’ve started checking email at set times each day and making a point to think about what I’m sitting down to do. I usually allow myself a certain number of minutes to mess around and then I get down to business. My husband needs a smart phone for work but has downloaded an app that automatically silences it during certain times of the day so he can put all his focus on our family.

    • I’d love to know the name of that app. Working on a post about apps/programs to kick start decluttering areas of your life.

      Son napping so I am responding to comments 🙂

  • Really, realy love your idea of Internet – free weekends. We skype on Sunday evenings with my husband’s family, but other than that, I think I could do it! I also make a conscious effort to not use the computer (or any screen) in front of my toddler. I have a basic cell phone which I LOVE and have zero interest in ever owning a Smartphone. While I still have a Facebook account, I recently “unjoined’ two groups that were major time wasters for me, and am focusing my energy more on REAL people or at least REAL learning and conversation. 🙂

  • You stated this so eloquently and logically! Many people need to hear this and think.

    I’ve discovered that I zombie surf when I am overtired and was doing it daily last fall. So, for the new year, I’ve made a conscious effort to be well rested 9 out of 10 days rather than the reverse. And, lo and behold, I am a much more efficient everything from minimalist to mom to wife to person when I am rested including the fact that I suddenly don’t have time for the internet and only use it when I need to. For me, they go hand in hand.

  • It’s funny that this came up this week…I use Firefox and had at least 10 pinned tabs that opened when I opened my browser (facebook, twitter, google +, gmail, hotmail, BBC News, eBay, Pinterest, google reader – you get the idea!) Firefox crashed on my earlier in the week and when I re-luanched it it had forgotten all my tabs. I have intentioanlly not re-pinned them. I’m finding that rather than constantly switching between them every 10 minutes as an excuse not to do any work I’m (a) – not logging into some of them at all during the working day (but may catch up when I get home and give better attention. I’m enjoying getting home, making a cuppa and sitting down to specifically read what come up in google reader during the day) and (b) – not spending anywhere near as much time on the few that I do choose to log into. Now that’s got to be a good thing!

    • Less really is more for me with browser tabs. I’m down to 1-2 open. Two if I am writing something and need to reference another website. One if I am emailing, responding to comments or writing fiction. It’s helping me focus and actually cutting down on my online time.

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