The universe kept sending me messages about trying a really early morning routine.
The most recent early morning routine message was from Erin Loechner of Design for Mankind. Erin recently shared that she gets up between 2am and 3am. TWO. A. M. She goes to bed just after having dinner with her family and her husband takes on the evening routine with the kids.
Why oh why does Erin have a morning routine that starts at 3am? It’s how she manages work and homeschooling her two children. It sounds downright crazy. There were many comments when I shared Erin’s post on Facebook about the insanity of that schedule.
I kind of agree.
But then, do we think it’s crazy that people in the medical profession work overnight? Or firefighters that work in 24 hour shifts and work at all hours. Or security guards that greet the sun and then slip home to sleep during the day?
I think the reason people think that Erin’s three in the morning start, and her complete absence of evening activity, is that this appears to be a choice. She could work regular hours of nine to five. But she wants to homeschool her kids. And work. To get to do both – to work and homeschool – she readily admits to saying no to Netflix and Facebook time and instead, trades that time for sleep and her early morning start.
Would it be crazy if she worked at home from 6pm to 11pm after a day at the office? Nope. In fact, that kind of scheduling sounds incredibly ‘normal’ to most people. The teacher that’s working on her master’s degree in the evening or just someone that works a lot. Entrepreneurs. Parents. People.
The early morning routine writers keep telling me about.
The other three nudges about starting a very early morning routine were from writers.
In March I was dining with a friend of mine that is a young adult novelist. She has three young children and limited childcare. I asked her how she found the time to write and she told me plainly, I get up at 4:30am. That’s her time. That’s her space to do her work.
She wasn’t kidding. As the rest of us drank on and gabbed into the night, she whisked herself away from dinner so that she could get seven hours of sleep in before her alarm went off. Her early morning routine was her work routine.
Carmella Rayone also shared somewhere deep in the archives of her blog that she woke up before it was light. If I remember correctly it was 3am. If I also remember correctly it was when she was homeschooling three sons during the day. To get those hours to herself to write, read or even meditate, she went to be very early to rise in the hours after midnight.
And then the early morning routine talk hit me again as I was listening to an episode of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic podcast. Glennon Doyle-Melton shared that she woke up in the wee hours to write when her kids were young. And the habit has stuck with her for many years. Even once the children were older and off at school, she still woke up early to write.
Glennon also shared that she missed television. Television was her finish line as a parent. If she got through the day she could park it on the couch once the kids were asleep and relax. But she gave up the television for time to write. She had to put something first and it was writing.
The early morning routine is really just swapping time in your day.
As I said before, we think a three in the morning start is crazy but working at home until 11pm is normal. What if you flipped those hours? Trade the evening for sleep and the early morning for work instead.
I never get things done in the evening. Soon after school lunches are packed and the kitchen is cleaned up, when my husband is putting the kids to bed, I expire. I want to sit and relax and read. Take a shower and snuggle into bed. Maybe sit out in our backyard with a glass of wine. The evening has never been a productive time for me.
Last fall my husband and I took a stab at the National Novel Writing Month challenge. I lost steam on it after two weeks. I don’t like doing anything that keeps my brain working in the evening. I felt overly stimulated and had poor sleep.
My time is early in the day. I pushed myself to go to an evening fitness class on Monday nights for five weeks in January. It was really hard. And I like to exercise. But my body and my brain were in slow down mode. I had a lot of hate thoughts during the class. I wanted it to be over before I even arrived.
Some of us really are early birds.
As I thought about trying a variation on this early morning routine it started to make sense to me. I’m a morning person. I feel energetic in the morning and I love getting things done before 8am. Maybe it’s all those years of getting up at dawn to row. Or maybe it’s genetics.
My mother woke long before her children. She was up some time between five and six am. The kids were up by seven. In the early morning she would listen to CBC radio, bake, work (she had a home office in our basement) and generally get things done without six kids distracting her. She’s still a morning person at 72 and I don’t think I’ve known her to sleep in past 7am. Sounds familiar…. I can’t sleep in even when I have the opportunity.
I tried waking up between four and five am for two months.
Eight weeks ago I started an early morning routine. Monday through Friday I went to bed by 9pm and woke up before 5am. Why did I want to do this? I needed more time. My kids were out of school for the summer and I had limited hours to myself. I wanted to get some work done and – hopefully! – get into a regular workout routine before the day started.
This crazy early morning start worked hand in hand with our screen free summer. Usually my husband and I would watch a tv show or two in the evening, chat, read, intend to be in bed by ten but usually didn’t turn the lights off until 11pm.
Now, with no tv distracting me, I read, maybe even had a bath and went to bed by 9pm. Our kids are usually asleep and the kitchen is tidied by 8pm which leaves an hour to unwind. This earlier bed time has been critical to my early morning routine. I need at least seven hours of sleep, preferably eight, to feel human.
I love getting up when the house is quiet.
It’s a complete cliche but I am that mom that craves alone time and quiet. And I found it at four in the morning. The first week attempting the early morning routine had me hooked. I crept out of my room, poured myself a big glass of water and hunkered down into work. It felt great. On weekends I would find myself up before the kids (that internal clock won’t shut off!) and I would sneak out to the living room and read.
The early morning work invigorated me. I had more energy for the rest of the day and I felt more positive. There is something about getting work done ahead of schedule, that list-maker satisfaction of crossing things off, that feeling of being ahead of the game, that buoys me. Of course, I could do that work in the evening. Many people do. It just doesn’t give me that same boost. And I’m sluggish and unfocused in the evening.
Early morning routine = a quiet and early evening routine
Two months in and I’m not missing much from going to bed early. The only regular weekday evening commitment I have is a board meeting but the latest it runs to is 8:30pm. I really enjoy not trying to get any work done in the evening and limiting screens. I’m not perfect but I really try to put my phone away in the evening. No screens and quiet activities help me fall asleep faster and get deeper sleep.
The one snag to this is that my husband really is a night owl. Our no screen summer has definitely pushed him to bed earlier but it’s not his natural state. I think his internal clock is wired to stay up past midnight from his many years in a band. He loves his sleep though so the early to bed push has been good for him too.
We relax our bed time on Friday and Saturday night and, if we’re up for it, stay up until 10 or 11. If you’re someone that has late nights regularly I’m not sure this early morning routine is for you. We live in a small town and date night is a walk and we’re home by 9pm. There really isn’t much to do outside of the hous here most evenings.
The silver lining to my early wake up: I’m finally in a consistent exercise routine.
I’m one of those people that likes to workout. I like to sweat. For most of my adult life I have worked out 5-6 days a week. Everything from running to Crossfit to hiking to recently trying Jazzercise. But I’ve really struggled to be consistent with exercise since my third child was born almost four years ago
Exercise is a huge stress reliever for me and a big piece of taking care of my mental health. It’s the crux of self-care for me. I have definitely felt the effects the last few years of not exercising regularly. I’m not talking about my weight or how my body looks but how my brain feels. I need to exercise to feel my best.
With the early morning routine I’ve been consistently exercising 5+ times a week for the last eight weeks. Getting up by five am makes it possible. I work until 630am and then make breakfast for my kids and have a coffee. My husband then takes over with the kids, getting them ready for school and such and I head to our basement or out the door to workout.
The other piece to my success so far has been using audio workouts. I tried a trial of Aaptiv and I am hooked. They have a huge catalogue of audio workouts that I can do at home. My favourite workouts are the equipment free circuits and the rowing machine workouts.
I’ve been missing group fitness classes since we moved to this small town. I miss my favourite spin instructor and bootcamp style classes that make me do a lot of lunges. Aaptiv has given me those structured and fun (with great music!) classes and I can do them whenever it works for me and from wherever it works for me.
Aaptiv is a flexible workout option that works with my early morning routine.
The thing that has really helped me be consistent with my workouts is that the Aaptiv app lets you search by type of workout, music type, level and – very important – length. Sometimes I only have 25 minutes to workout before I need to be back into the family morning routine. I can search for a workout that fits my time. Sometimes one of the kids has been up over night and I didn’t get the best sleep. I can choose a lower intensity workout based on how I’m feeling.
I highly recommend trying Aaptiv if you are in a workout rut or struggling to workout on your own. It’s ideal for working out at home. No equipment? No problem. There are dozens of workouts that don’t require equipment. If you do have exercise equipment at home this is a great way to actually use it. There are workouts for stationary bikes, running, rowing machines, ellipticals, kettlebells, dumb bells and more.
Want to get into running? Aaptiv has class series for couch to 5k, 10k and more. There’s yoga and stretching too. When I have an extra few minutes I’ll do one of their 5 minute cool down stretching workouts. Again, I’m terrible about stretching on my own. But having an instructor lead me through stretches has made me stretch more. Cool thing about Aaptiv: they have this Netflix type pop up after your workout that suggests one of their short cool down workouts.
Apptiv would also be great if you have a gym membership but want to add structure to your workouts. Or if your gym only holds classes at times that don’t work with your schedule – Aaptiv can help you get a more intense workout in. I’ve used their spin class workouts and it felt like I was back in a $25/class city spin class (for a lot less money!).
I have been raving about this app to friends and family since I started using it and sending them free 30 day invitations to try Aaptiv. You can try Aaptiv for free for 30 days here. Note: this is an affiliate link!
I’m hooked on this early morning routine.
Not sure I will ever be rolling to bed at 6pm and setting my alarm for two in the morning but the very early start could be a lifelong habit. Getting up before five o’clock gives me the alone time that I’ve been craving for years. When my kids get up it’s loud, lovely and go, go, go. It’s nice to enter the morning chaos with some quiet, hydration and a workout already under my belt.
As you can tell this routine relies heavily on my husband taking over a big chunk of the morning routine. While I’m planking and jump squatting downstairs, he’s encouraging kids to eat, reviewing spelling words, brushing teeth and getting the kids ready for school. When he’s away I’ll work less and get a workout in before the kids are up during my early morning routine.
Do you have an early morning routine? Is it by choice or necessity? What do you think of Erin’s incredibly early start?
More on simplicity and habits:
The Small Habits that Helped Me Get Out of Big Debt
One Thing That Never Fails to Make My Week Easier (or Brutal if I Forget It!)
I find this really interesting and something I would like to try. I always want to read more (your last book is on my to-read list and I have it sitting at home already). I find at night I am too tired to read and just fall asleep but I think waking up earlier for an hour before everyone else gets up sounds great! My mom use to get up before us kids growing up and I am beginning to understand why! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Denise
Mississauga
Thank you for posting this article as well as the link to the Times article. I’m glad this is working for you and others, but I could never! These articles have made me realize I don’t need to feel guilty for my sleep habits because we are obviously all wired differently!
My mother could never get me to sleep as a baby. School age, I was hard pressed to be able to fall asleep before 10pm. Now as an adult I don’t like rising early: I can’t think clearly until about noon so tasks that require a lot of thought require a lot of extra effort. I don’t like working out in the morning — I feel “cold” and like I will pull a muscle. I can’t sit and read — I will fall asleep. I also feel like in the morning it is a race again the clock until the kids wake up.
Staying up late works for me. I am most productive after the kids are sleeping. Writing, household chores, baking, working out, you name it — works better for me. We co-sleep, so if I sleep in with my kids I can get them to sleep 1-2 hrs longer. (No extra noise in the house helps too!)
When I work night shifts, I am rarely sleepy until morning. When I work day shifts it’s very difficult for me to fall asleep early the night before. When I am done my day shifts I always resolve to keep getting up early but it never happens. Inevitably I have one day where I stay up 18 hrs and then get myself back “on track”.
I am tired of people judging me for a 3am-9am (ish) sleep schedule. (I try to hide it from people actually.) So if a sleep schedule of 9pm-3am works for other people — I shouldn’t worry about mine! But really, anytime you do anything outside of the box, people raise eyebrows, so any form of alternative sleeping is going to get comments!
Jessica – I loved your candor. And yes “anytime you do anything outside of the box, people raise eyebrows.” We gotta do what works for us. Keep up your schedule if it helps you be productive! 🙂
We’re all different. I liked that that NYTs article delved into some theory behind night owls, early birds, etc. That for tribe safety we needed you night owls to be on the look out while the early birds were sleeping! Thank you, Night Owls.
Last summer (a year ago), when all three of my kids were home from school and I was studying for a certification, I would wake at 5am. I spent the first thirty minutes getting dressed in gym clothes and meditating. Then I would start my work at 5:30am. I worked until 7am. My husband would come in from his workout then and take over with the kids while I exercised from 7-8am. Having a partner to help with the morning rush was crucial. I definitely remember making a lot of great progress on my studies before anyone was awake. When the school year started, my schedule fell apart. I just can’t remember why!
Now that my kids are a year older and in school more frequently, I’m waking up later and doing my work in the morning hours when they aren’t at home. But if I need to increase productivity (which may be a real factor soon), then I’m grateful this post reminded me of a system that worked well a little over a year ago!
The only downside I recall is that I got kind of psycho about bed time (meaning that if we had visitors staying with us I was secretly annoyed that I had to stay up and entertain them, or I would up and announce that I was headed to bed. Hopefully they weren’t offended!)
I love reading all these comments! We also co-sleep but our three year old just gave up naps and is so tired at night that he goes to bed around 8:30pm and sleeps until 8am! He used to be a light sleeper as well, but now I can sneak out of bed and no one is the wiser.
As long as I am getting uninterrupted sleep, I love getting up early. But early to me was 6/6:30am. I am just warming up to an earlier wake-up time (5am), and its amazing! I’m totally useless in the evening anyway. Our days are so full that my brain has nothing left to give at 10pm.
Thanks for this post! So nice to hear about other morning routines that work.
I was impressed that this article was actually about someone getting up early by my standards. I always chuckle when people talk about 6 or 7 am like its early. Starting in middle school a 5am wake up became the norm thanks to morning swim practices. For the first 5 years of my career I started work at 6am. Once I became a single mother and learned day cares didn’t open until 6! I finally shifted to a 7:30 start and now I get to sleep in until 6am!
There are definitely benefits to getting an early start (the biggest for me being it leaves more of the afternoon open to get out of the house chores done), but that is negated if you aren’t getting your optimal amount of sleep (I’ve learned that is ~8hrs for me and 10 for my kids who have to leave when I do in the mornings even if they aren’t waking up as early as me). So we have to prioritize.
Right now its very important for my kids to learn to swim and since we are at the gym I work out too. That means we don’t get home until 8 most nights and I don’t get to bed until 10. Next week I start pre-calc and if evening study isn’t cutting it, I’ll reassess and switch to earlier wake ups and shorter workouts to get home sooner. That’s the best thing about trying an early schedule, if it doesn’t work you can always go back to how it was before!
I’m an early bird but with a newborn I sleep in if I can.
Our oldest gets up between 5-6 so we are up pretty early but he’s still needing us during that time. However my husband can sometimes do some study at this time. I much prefer getting writing done early in the morning.
I am definitely an early bird! I naturally wake at about 5am- I need to get better at not pushing my bedtime though (it is currently 9.11pm and I should be in bed!) I must also learn to say no to social things that result in late nights- I feel awful for days!
I like getting up and doing some yoga first thing, and then taking the dogs for a walk whilst it is dark/just light. My partner is in charge of breakfast.
I am so much more productive in the morning- I think I might experiment with an even earlier start (and an earlier bedtime) without reducing my sleep time..
Oh my! Well, I’m the complete opposite. My brain doesn’t function until sometime after lunch, and I tend to do my best work after midnight. Seriously, mornings are sort of like “lost time” as far as I’m concerned, because I literally walk into walls for the first few hours I’m awake. But hey – if it works for you I say go for it.
Just read a great NYT’s article on night owls. 🙂
Can you post the link?
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/25/style/sleep-problem-late-night.html
Cliff notes: some people really are wired to go to bed later and should accept that and try to work and be active when it works for them.
Thank you!
This is very interesting to me as a mom, wife, someone with a FT job, and someone who is desperately trying to get my novel polished enough to send out to agents (January 2019 goal, baby!). The “problem” that I have with getting up early (and for some reason, reading this makes it seem doable …) is that my husband and I cosleep with our kids. (Or more accurately, I end up getting pushed out of bed and retreat downstairs and am eventually joined by our youngest.) And youngest is a light sleeper … BUT … maybe if I got up at 4? This feels doable.
Incidentally, one of my favorite newsletters that I subscribe to is My Morning Routine. Some of them would not fit into my life whatsoever, but I love to see what other working parents do to maximize their morning time. 🙂
Thanks for the post! 🙂
Shelley: we cosleep so I understand. I was briefly able to sneak out of bed when it was just my first born and he was a young toddler. Our almost four year old often still comes into our bed in the night. Depending on where he is at in his sleep cycle he may wake up when I get up. I’m really flexible with myself on this – if I go to bed early that’s the biggest promise to myself to keep. I can’t control the other variables that may effect if I can actually get up early or have time to myself.
So some mornings I lay in bed willing our youngest back to sleep and only get a half hour in before I have to start making breakfast.
Thanks for the newsletter rec and good luck on the novel!!
I am all for the early-morning routine. We lived with my grandparents when I was growing up, and I would love being up early at 4:30-5:30 with my grandmother. She said that was how she got things done. I would especially prefer to exercise early and at home.
I have a few obstacles that I hope will change if we can move into a house instead of an apartment. The first is that I can’t be jumping around with someone living under us (very poor soundproofing in our building) but especially not before 8 or after 10 pm. Furthermore, I can’t even do laundry before 8 (it used to be 6 am but it got pushed back to 8. Not a building full of early birds.) And I sort of need to do move-around, get the blood flowing things if I”m up while it’s still dark. In fact, I love BEFORE we change the clocks in the Spring, because I prefer the extra daylight in the morning. Also, my husband works overnights, so there is only me to manage the kids in the evening, although it is less hands-on and more “reminding” now that they are older. But I still can’t go to bed until they do.
On a somewhat related note, I wish more stores/services opened early. Only Target, Starbucks and the supermarket are open by 8. I understand – people commute to work and there aren’t enough customers during the early hours to make it worthwhile. But when I was a kid (granted a city kid so lots of foot traffic) it seemed like many places were open by 9 am. It’s totally worth it to me to get up & out early if I can avoid the busiest times.
But you’ve inspired me to try to make the effort to go to bed earlier & wake up earlier and make that my ME time.
When I tried to get up early in our apartment, inevitably, one of the kids would also wake up early. I feel your pain on that one. It just wasn’t possible/worth it to get up if I had one of the kids up with me too.
Our bedrooms are all together so even in this house I occasionally wake kids up. I think the trick is to err on the side of earlier. The kids seem to be in a light sleep cycle from 530 on and they will wake up if they hear me moving around.
Love that your grandmother says the early mornings were how she got things done 🙂
Services: I thought in some bigger American cities stores were 24 hrs? I lived in Seattle and I recall a bigger grocery store was. And there were a few Starbucks near my apartment in Vancouver that opened at 5:30am. Petition them!!!
And good luck with getting back on the early morning train 🙂