Our family minimalism story ten years out!
I wanted to share an update on where we are ten years out from getting into minimalism.
It’s been a busy few years with career and job changes and a stint back to school for me. The kids are now 6, 8 and 11. Much has changed since the early writings on this blog (when I just had one kid!). I much more protective of the children’s privacy and not sharing too many specific things about them or photos of them. From observing other blogging/social media parents in the last five years I know I am not alone in this.
Here are some things that have changed or stayed the same since my kids were little:
- we have fewer hand-me-downs now. Most things are really beat up by the time a kid outgrows them. There are some exceptions like winter and outdoor gear. When the kids were little I really could shop from our own stash for the younger two. Not anymore!
- the kids still have relatively small wardrobes. Higher number of wears also contributes to more wear and tear. They all usually have a rotation of 5-7 bottoms and 10-12 tops. We have to do laundry once a week or they run out of clothing.
- I’ve completely lost on the toys front. It was so much easier when they were younger. So much LEGO around the house and books. My kids read a lot and I find books left open face down everywhere. Our toys at these ages are mostly LEGO and books. Pokemon cards and Magic the Gathering cards are also in play. I can see from my oldest that we will soon be out of these years so I try not to stress about it too much.
- Our screen free summer is still going strong four years out. It felt tenuous this year and last. Particularly last summer (2020) when we were really limited in socializing and activities due to COVID. But my husband and I love it and the kids flourish with no screens. The aforementioned LEGO is played with for hours, the kids read a tonne and they are a lot of outdoor activities and imaginative play. Can I get another summer in when the oldest is twelve? We’ll see.
- We’re living in a small space. But now it’s not really by choice. We’ve realized we need more livable space and are making plans for either an addition on this house or a move. Our main floor is under 1200 sq ft and my husband requires a dedicated office (not optional for his job). We bought our current house over two years ago because we loved the location. We are a block from the kid’s elementary school and across the street from their future high school. We love this spot and the convenience but we are really feeling squeezed with only one very small upstairs bedroom for kids. The original plan had been to renovate the basement but – long story – that’s not going to work as sleeping space for the kids.
- Living rurally is a different beast for us and minimalism than living in the city. We love to get out and explore and visit our favourite spots but we have a fraction of the options that we had in downtown Vancouver. Our library is closed two days a week. The winters are beautiful but limit the amount of time kids play outside. We spend a lot of time at home hosting friends and we would like more space for that. We’ve also embraced some of the many recreation options here and now have downhills skis, cross country (for the adults) and even ice skates. The wonderful rental options you have in a city aren’t available here. So, yes, we have more stuff!
Minimalism Gave Me The Time and Money to Change Careers
Here’s another big change: I went back to school last year to get my education degree. I did a one year intensive post-degree program. I start my first elementary teaching job in a few weeks! This was possible with a lot of luck and privilege and, to some degree, because we’ve stuck to some of the financial tenets of minimalism in the last ten years. We have lived below our means and with small mortgages, and without any non-mortgage debt. If we were dependent on my income to pay basic bills we just wouldn’t have been able to make it work for me to go back to school. I feel really lucky to be able to make this change in my 40s.
I Stepped Back from Blogging for a Few Reasons
If any of you original readers are out there you know that this blog has been silent for quite a while. I realized in 2018 that I wanted to make a work change. While I have loved writing here, and writing books about minimalism, I was feeling done with the topic. I didn’t feel like I had a lot of new things to say. I wasn’t comfortable with the transition to reaching people through Instagram that is prevalent in simplicity and minimalism writers/bloggers. I’m not a visual storyteller.
There were a few more things that pointed me in the direction of a career change. Physically I was finding it challenging to sit at a desk. Even with frequent breaks and rigging up a standing desk, I was really feeling the strain of working exclusively on a computer. I also wanted to work with people face to face. It was lonely working alone. My interest in teaching had been piqued a few years earlier when I took a two-week course to support one of my kids that has a learning disability. As I volunteered more at their school I really found that I enjoyed being there and working with children. Eventually I would like to work in learning support/special education and hopefully pursue a masters degree in that area.
I’m Still Blown Away at the Reach of This Blog
Though I’m not on here actively I am still impressed with the traffic this website generates and that my books are still being read. Minimalism has been such a gift to my family. While we’re definitely not living as lean as we were when the kids were little, the tenets of minimalism still inform so many of our family decisions. What brings us value? What do we enjoy? Are we spending our money and time wisely?
I’d love to hear your updates in the comments. How long have you been at this and what have you gained from minimalism?
Lovely to read your update – I have missed your blogging, but understand the reasons. Thank you for all the wisdom and inspiration over the years, it’s made a huge impact on me and my family (been reading since I was pregnant with my oldest, 7 years or so). Congratulations on the career change!
Thanks for the update! Congrats on the teaching position!
Congratulations on your new job! Just a word though about spec-ed, my neighbour is a spec-ed teacher. It is not what you think it is. Shadow a spec-ed teacher for a day if you can before you make that decision. With three children, you will have LESS time for them and your family. She doesn’t teach ADHD kids, she teaches deeply physically and emotionally disabled students here in Ontario and is about to transition out into a regular class room next year. She’s not even 40 yet and completely worn and exhausted and her kids are 9 and 7.
I really like this post Rachel. It shows the minimalism moves with you. I live in a smaller community too so I own more stuff for hobbies etc. I think that’s ok as long as it doesn’t get crazy. I also love that you show how minimalism has helped you shift into a new career opportunity. Isn’t that the dream? Freedom to make life what you want it to be?
Thanks. My nephew sent this to me. It was very helpful. If dyslexia is an issue check out lexercise.com for an amazingly successful approach that achieves 3 years of reading level increase in one semester – from home:).
So glad to read the update and excited for your meeting career path!
We are far from where I expected to be at this point, but still “minimalists” compared to what most people expect. Our house is bigger than I’d like, but home prices in Austin have risen so immensely that we’re stuck here until our kids move out (not too much longer- 11+13 now). I’ve finally figured out a new career path and gearing up to apply to grad school. One thing I have found in our minimalism journey is that is has taught our kids how to prioritize what they truly want and what’s truly important to them. Sure, they have more than I’d prefer, but they are very good about only keeping what’s meaningful and good about letting things go. I’m hoping it’s skills they’ll carry with them through life. 😊
It’s nice to read the update and how you’ve found a career you will enjoy. Congratulations on having a teaching position this Fall. Teachers are angels in disguise.
Another long time reader! I feel like I never did master minimalism in the way that I would have liked, and I am super ready for a lot of the toys and things that they really don’t use any more to GO. Legos and books rule our world, as well. I didn’t have the heart to do screen-free sumer this summer or last, but I do put some parameters around it and it always so great to see what they come up with once they push through “I’m bored ” Mine are both girls and while they have opinions about what they do or don’t like to wear, when I approached them about back to school shopping neither was all that interested. I fi ally managed to get the one who shot up 4 inches last year to let me buy some new, longer, dresses, and the other conceded that it *might* be time for a few new pairs of leggings. So there’s that at least.
I’m so happy to get an update from you. I read your blog since my kids were little and it’s so interesting to hear how your priorities and needs changed over the years. Best of luck with your new career
I love the 10 year update! Like others, I started reading your blog a decade ago, when we were in the same boat – Canadian from BC, living overseas (NZ for us), starting our family. Like you, we now have 3 kids, and after 5 yrs in NZ and 7 in the US, we are now back in BC. Just last week I was re-reading your post about where to move in BC when you can live anywhere… with my partner now remote, and me a RN, we are excited to buy land 3-6hr from the Fraser Valley where my parents live. (Merritt, Vernon, Salmon Arm, Grand Forks, Castlegar, Nelson, are all on our list of places to check out!)
It’s definitely hard to keep all the ‘stuff’ to a minimum when kids have their own desires, passions, and hobbies. Big moves help with purging so we’ve gotten rid of a lot of our excess, but I also know that if we move to a more rural and hopefully more spacious setting, we will acquire new things to suit that lifestyle. I think minimalism has led to a more intentional lifestyle and helped us teach the kids to think carefully about what we spend money on. I feel like you were one of the pioneers before it became super trendy! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Congrats on starting a new career and making the choice not to do more social media – both such great models for your kids.
Those are all sweet spots and we have loved Grand Forks! *I never advertised that that was where we moved to. My brother lives here which is why we chose it. Nelson is a ‘city’ day trip for us and is so lovely too. Good luck in the hunting!!
Thanks for posting this update! It is so encouraging to hear how your lifestyle has been adjusted over time, and as kids grow and change. I have ideals in my mind about what a minimalist lifestyle means, often based on what I see others doing. But my household includes 7 other people! So what a family with 2 small kids does to be “minimalist” will look very different than what my husband and I do with 6 kids! I’ve been grappling lately with the stuff in the house, and trying to figure out how to make space for what’s important so I’m not spending time on things that don’t really matter. Thanks for adding your voice to the conversation in my head, and best of luck in your career change!
Congratulations! It’s so wonderful to hear from you! I found you 10 years ago when my first was born and I’ve appreciated your wisdom and realism. I loved following your journey abroad, then back to Canada and out of the big city. I also have three kids, and life is different now. Like you, I’ve found the older kids rougher on clothes so it’s mostly outwear and church clothes that get handed down. I’m so frustrated by all the crafted treasures my 10 and 8 year olds have. My husband talks of getting more space, but at just under 2000 square feet, we need LESS STUFF, not more space.
It’s taking more effort to embrace minimalism in our schedule. With three kids in soccer and Girl Scouts, we are very busy. Yet my 8 year old was asking to do cheer last night. And the older kids both want to do the free art classes at the community center “because we don’t have anything 345-500 on Thursdays!”. And they want to be on tournament soccer teams with their friends in addition to rec league. And the Lego builders team. And and and and. It’s hard to say no to such good things. I am making some inroads in convincing them that they, and our whole family, are happier when we aren’t rushing every which way every day.
I prefer articles about family minimalism. I don’t need pictures anymore. I love the discussions on HOW to make things work, like “They all usually have a rotation of 5-7 bottoms and 10-12 tops. We have to do laundry once a week or they run out of clothing” rather than an Instagram photo of a bare dresser top.
It’s really hard to give your schedule white space when the kids are clamouring to sign up for things. We’ve got one of ours that wants to go to EVERYTHING. They all do a piano lesson once a week and swim club. The eager one also likes to do soccer. It can be a lot of running around but we’re lucky that everything is so close. The oldest now bikes himself to and fro from things and I can see that we’re not that far off from the other two doing the same. When swimming starts up again in November I am hoping they can walk from school to the pool with friends.
Great to hear from you!!
I’s nice to hear your voice again 🙂 I am a long time reader – also in my 40’s & a mother in Vancouver. My kids are similar in age to yours and I find that they have learned the concepts of minimalism through my constant repetition and teaching. Yesterday we were at the dentist and I was pleased that they both felt no pull to get the crappy toys that break quickly and end up in the landfill. At the same time we all have our challenges and it requires an ongoing commitment. I think you were one of the first minimalists I read and you made a big impact – thank you! Good luck in your new job.
Thanks, Hannah. And wonderful to hear your children have ascribed to a less is more approach just like their mom 🙂 My kids have, sadly, been all too happy to take the dentist visit toys but – surprise – the eight year old passed on it last time. Small progress!
Enjoy your beautiful city! We were down in July and got to enjoy Locarno beach and some other beautiful spots.