This is the second post in a series about getting over the want (aka consumerism). For part 1 click here.
In middle school I had dreams of owning five Club Monaco sweatshirts. One for every day of the week. My summers were spent serving up burgers and fries for minimum wage and making detailed lists of all the clothing I would buy with my earnings. We didn’t have a lot of money and my wardrobe pegged me as the poor kid.
Alas, my summer savings went back to the family to help pay the mortgage. Dreams were dashed.
Yeah, we all have a good story about why we like to buy things and covet new and expensive. Mine go way back. But instead of letting it own me, I’m putting it away. I’m 33. At some point you have to stop blaming your mistakes on a tough childhood.
Stop blaming, start acting. Start creating barriers to mindless spending.
Here are a few tactics to stop you from walking into that store and handing over a weeks worth of grocery money for something you’ll wear once.
Step One was “don’t let it in the door“.
Step Two: create barriers.
- Budget: if you put a limit on spending, you’re more mindful about what you buy. If you know you have a limit you’ll think twice about buying on a whim.
- Wait it out: write down what you want and wait 30 days. Often the urge or desire for it will have passed after a cooling off period.
- No spend days: choose a day of the week that you keep your wallet at home. Focus on free fun and entertainment: walks, watch a DVD rented from the library, play a board game, pull out a craft project you’ve been meaning to finish. Flex your “no spend” muscles. For more intense scrutiny of your spending, try a no-spend month where you only purchase consumables.
- True cost: evaluate your working hour cost to purchase something. Calculate your actual hourly wage, making sure to use your after tax and deductions income, and figure out how many hours you will work to pay for the item. Do you really want to work two days to upgrade to a new iPod?
Eventually using techniques like this will become a habit. You won’t be whipping out a calculator in the middle of Macy’s to debate buying a new coat.
How do you resist spending? Do you find it easy or difficult? Can those living in the suburbs or farther outside the city weigh in? Is it easier if you live on a farm and only get in range of shops once a week? Has online shopping blown that quaint idea out of the water?
My suggestion is to consider ‘cash versus card’.
CASH
When I pay cash, I feel like I’m handing out real money, whereas cards are less real. Also, it’s easy to forget about a card transaction and then it’s not on your mental running list of how much you’ve spent, whereas with cash, if you’ve spent it, it’s gone.
I work with a weekly cash budget for food, groceries and incidentals. I take out 80% on Friday to do a big shop. I take out the other 20% the next week when I run out of cash. If I run out of cash again before the next Friday I have to wait.
If I have leftover money I either spend it on a treat for the family (swimming, hot chocolate ) or put it in a cash piggy bank. Then every couple of months I can raid the piggy bank and I have what is ‘magic money’ – saved out of the budget without noticing and to be used for something fun, not necessities.
CARD
I still use a credit card, but only for ‘major’ items (car maintenance, holidays, furniture etc) and ‘permitted’ items (medical appointments, hair appointments, petrol). And I review the transactions and add up by category, which means I can see where the ‘major’ money is going!!!
Also goes without saying that the card needs to be paid off in full every month!
I try never to use EFTPOS/debit cards. They give you the ‘easy impulse spend’ of a credit card without even the cashflow advantage.
My kids are 4 and 7 and are very advertisement savvy. A commercial would make a claim and I’d say “Do you think that’s true?”. Now they’ll say “I think that’s a lie” or when certain air freshener commercials come on my 4 yr old son calls out “That’s chemicals!!!” They know that the purpose of a commercial is to make you buy the product and that commercials will tell you anything to get you to buy!
I’m not very influenced by commercials myself and never have been. (Although I did always want the Snoopy Snow Cone Maker). Money was tight when I was a kid so I always looked at commercials as the time to go to the bathroom or as entertainment because I knew I wouldn’t get the items anyways…
As a teen I babysat to get myself a school jacket and some clothes from Au Cotton and after that I didn’t care much about fitting in fashion-wise or following fads. (Still don’t). I’m hoping my kids will be similar as they get to those difficult years…
I had the Snoopy Snow Cone maker!!! It was pretty poor at making snowcones, FYI. You didn’t miss much.
That is so cute that your son yells out that air fresheners are chemicals. You are teaching them well. I am taking note of how you discuss commercials with them.
I’m glad to hear the Snoopy Snow Cone Maker wasn’t all that the commercials made it out to be! lol….
It is funny when my son yells out things about air fresheners, but he’s done it at someone’s house before too! A little less funny then. I had to explain that some people think they smell good while other people get headaches from them…
Thanks for the comment, Sara. Must check your blog. Baking and wine are two of my favourite things!
hi! I’m a relatively new reader to your blog but have been really enjoying your posts for the past few weeks. My husband and I moved from Toronto to London almost three years ago because he decided he wanted to go back to school. My hubs has always been very budget conscious but it is something I have always found challenging. Even more challenging when we decided to survive on one income! I definitely find it MUCH easier not to “want” after we moved out of the city into a smaller one. In Toronto, we walked every where but the stores were always THERE. It was too easy to spend money while shopping on a lunch break or while walking home from work. Nowadays, I still walk to work but there are no store windows that entice me to go in for a browse. If I needed to run an errand, I would have to walk home, get in the car and drive to the store. More often than not these days, I go home and I stay home. We go grocery shopping once a week and I can’t remember the last time we were at the mall. We don’t read magazines and we don’t have cable. No temptations there. Our challenge? I have a weakness for craft supplies and the Hubs has a weakness for books. Hubs buys the majority of his books (even school textbooks) online via alibris, abebooks or through our Goodwill bookstore. It’s a significant savings from retail prices. My next personal challenge is to work from my stash and not purchase any more unnecessary supplies. For me, this will mean staying away from those gorgeously inspirational craft blogs and online marketplaces like Etsy, in order to reduce the temptations. (I just have to find the balance, because I love making handmade gifts and I have a gazillion hobbies).
There was a really good point made on the meal planning post that you had. In an effort to live within our current means, we wanted to eat out or order in a LOT less. My cooking skills were limited to “just-add-water” recipes, so I started to look up new recipes and was inspired by all the beautiful photos of delicious looking meals online. So yes, I would go to the store and purchase something that would be used once for the recipe and then remain in the fridge until it grew legs & walked away on its own. These days, I’m making an effort to be a more conscious eater. We’ve joined a local CSA this winter which has been great so far and really pushed me to use up what we have. I’m learning to freeze food instead of throwing it away.
Anyways, it has been a very interesting experience. I really like the direction that we’re headed. Again, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. I’m inspired to make modifications in my own lifestyle choices and it’s been extremely validating to see a lot of the same views and opinions expressed. So, Thank you!
Hi Natalie,
I’ve lived in London, ON – great city! And I found the cost of food to be considerably cheaper than out west.
Meal planning: I still feel like everyone needs to experiment to find what works for them. My empty cupboards/empty fridge attempt is going well. It helps me be mindful of using what we already have because it is so visible. Oh, and I also have some chipotles in Adobo sauce growing legs in my fridge. I bought a whole can and needed maybe 1/20th of the contents for the recipe. Now wishing I had been smart and parceled them up and froze them for later use.
Thanks for commenting =)
Hi Rachel,
The photo you have on this post is outstanding.
When I was a teenager, having certain name brands was critically important to me. In the area where I grew up, it didn’t feel optional.
Interestingly enough, it wasn’t until I was a little older and began studying marketing thatI began to resent the “wanting” that had fueled so much of my life.
It’s led me to where I am today. I just hope my kids will listen to me when I try to explain to them about what advertisements really are.
Photo: Flick Creative Commons =)
I used to work in marketing and now I think back to all the free stuff we had made and gave away at events… ugh, I know most of it is in a landfill now.
Kids and advertising: I’ll be looking to people like yourself, with kids a bit older than mine, for the how to on that conversation. =)
Love the new look, Rachel! Those are all great ideas, but the only thing that works for me (personally) anymore is to consider the environmental cost (and there is one for every.single,purchase.) This is particularly handy for me when I find myself in a store facing something I want AND that is a good deal. If am lusting after a sweater or a new coffee maker or a toy for the kids, I am always thinking, “if I were to buy that item, how long would it be before I would get sick of it or it broke and I would have to pass it along or throw it away?” Since I know I can be fickle and the excitement of a new purchase is just a passing feeling, thinking about not wanting to create unnecessary waste and pollution is usually a sobering enough reminder for me. 🙂
Thanks, Erin – I like it a lot but think I need to get some of the green font darkened. Hard to see.
We had one very small trip to the dump with broken things that couldn’t be recycled or fixed. It was a very sad reminder about how much is wasted and how much is sitting in landfills. It’s made me very aware that if I buy something I have to believe I will use it a lot and for a long time and the item must be of good quality.
PS. Costco was out of leggings but I had an HBC credit and got a pair there. Loving them!
You may have seen this already, but totally agree with Erin’s point – http://www.storyofstuff.com/
20 minutes to rethink everything we buy!!
Agree – it is a great video. Really makes you think.
Awesome post! Equating purchases to my true wage was a big tool for me. I worked 1.5 days a week just for the privilege of owning and driving a new car – yikes!
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I find it really helpful to designate an amount for “mad money”. If I think I CAN’T buy something, I want it more. Sort of like your sweaters! Knowing that I CAN buy it, but I’m choosing not to makes me feel powerful and in control and I find I end up buying a lot less.
This is an excellent point! It is empowering to CHOOSE not to buy. If this is currently not the case, with some forced abstaining some money will soon be saved and then you can start thinking “I choose not to buy it even though I could afford it”.
It’s like knowing that there is chocolate in the cupboards but not eating it. Exercising will power does feel good.
1.5 days a week for a new car – yikes! I worked a lot of days for a lot of clothes I never wore and baby items I didn’t need or never used =( Moving onwards and upwards.
I live in the suburbs, and I have small children who are no fun to take to the mall. As a result, I don’t tend to shop just for fun. I also don’t even tend to see what’s hot this season, because I’m not walking in places with billboards and big window displays.
I have weaknesses. Children’s clothes are one of them, and craft supplies are another. So I’ve just stopped visiting the online stores. If I don’t go “just to look”, I don’t buy. It’s pretty amazing how that works. 😉
So true. If I don’t go to the store, brick and mortar or website, I don’t buy.
And agreed on the shopping with kids. And yet, when I have time to myself shopping is the last thing I want to do.
For me, it isn’t generally clothing, but gadgets that supposedly make your life easier (usually kitchen stuff). I am motivated to curb that spending by always thinking of our move into an RV. More stuff… won’t fit. I have several small appliances (steamer, quesadilla maker, crock pot, etc.) and will have to get rid of some, I’m sure.
Also, even with new gadgets, I try to think of how often I’ll *really* use it and compare that to the cost. Would I *really8 get my money’s worth? Not likely.
I do still really want to replace my every-day shoes with some Chuck Taylor’s though! I just can not justify the cost. I’m trying to remind myself we should do all of our clothing shopping at thrift stores!
My culinary torch = your quesadilla maker.
The kitchen is my weakness too. Have a beautiful food processor that I have only used four times. Keep reminding myself this should be a slow evolution and that I will eventually part with the things I don’t use often.
I agree that the true cost test is a great one. I’ve increasingly begun to think this way since becoming self-employed — and like Jo, sometimes that means forgiving myself for spending a little extra instead of trying to get to a second or third store for my groceries.
Another thing I increasingly do is take a moment to ask myself WHY I’m tempted by something — for example, I almost bought some beautiful sock yarn on line today (I’m a passionate, if not particularly skilled, knitter) and then realized that the reason for my longing was solely because the yarn was the colour of spring (sorely needed here this week!). Knowing that, I was able to go through my current ‘stash’ and pull something bright and cheerful out — and even if I don’t actually cast on tonight, it got me through that momentary desire!
I’m in a rural area, so it’s about 30 minutes to the nearest “box store” area, and even the grocery store. So, I tend to only go out to run errands once a week or so. I’ve learned not to be tempted to go in and shop for things I don’t need, because often I am in a hurry and need to get on to the next thing. This sense of urgency also keeps me away from the online shopping – I just don’t have time for it. And with DVR, the TV that I do watch (mainly with my husband) – we fast forward through all of the commercials.
Dr. Laura
I would add suggest another — have to have a plan, a good one — for what you are going to do with whatever you are replacing. I.e., new ipod – the old one cannot be closet fill or tossed, it has to go somewhere worthwhile (i.e., needy teen?).
This, obviously, doesn’t work for everything. If you don’t have a portable music player, you don’t have to have plan in order to get a new ipod. And the coat — well, there are always very worthwhile coat drives for the needy… doesn’t do much to slow one down. But it does refocus me on my primary reason for going minimalish (is that trademarked yet? do I owe someone money?) — reduce waste.
Even if I go back in a month or a year and buy the thing I didn’t buy before, it is a month/year longer that whatever will last before it will be due to be replaced, not to mention the month/year worth of interest on the money not spent. This principle was key for keeping the car that was not, at the time, working well (too small for carpool) — every month I made it work was a month less of a new-to-us car payment. Now I don’t drive carpool and use the car mainly for bike trailer storage so I don’t have to haul the trailer up and down stairs… so glad we are not paying $$$ for bike trailer storage. Now the hankering is for a cargo bike so I can ditch the trailer… this one is fully justifiable as my children are pushing the trailer weight and space limits but I am going to make the trailer work for another couple of months at least.
I’ve heard of and like the concept of considering how much time I would have to work before purchasing something. I’d rather spend time with my family. However, my husband isn’t on board with downsizing our home (we’re in 1700sq ft now) or our vehicles. It’s become a point of tension with the economy since my job is busy and secure and his is not. Hmm….
Hi Rachel – I know what it’s like to go without and the associated emotions that go with it! But as you also know it affected me differently…buying was then linked to guilt and anxiety (a “not worthy of having it” feeling). Interestingly and this is the main point of the comment. I charge hourly for my ‘day job’ and I equate that hourly rate pretty much to a lot of things I do. For example to spend a whole morning grocery shopping, in my mind is very expensive in comparison to doing a 30 minute shop online – this may be one of the reasons I do not bargain hunt as I see the cost of shopping around, driving around, making additional journeys etc… I’ve always seen the time/money connection – because I have always valued my time over everything. Jo
So I haven’t labeled myself as a minimalist, but I’m working toward “minimalish” (didn’t I read that here on your blog recently? I LOVE that term!). I’m finding it SO hard because my husband isn’t exactly on the same page…he admitted yesterday that he holds on to “stuff” because he didn’t have “stuff” as a kid. I’ve decided that I’m going ahead with it anyway, beginning with myself and the kids, hoping that he will follow my lead. And if not, then at least our house will be 4/5 clutter free. 🙂 I’m really enjoying your posts, and I’m going to try to put a few no-spend days into effect. We’ll see how well that goes!!
Ahhh, Roots. You’re probably a bit younger than me but I do remember that being a hot ticket clothing store as well.
Interesting to hear that people feel proximity plays a role in the amount of shopping and $ spent. It’s all just outside my door so I am constantly working on turning a blind eye. And focusing on all the fun and free (or almost free) things to do.
Vacations and travel are so much better than new clothes in my opinion.
Speaking as a rural dweller (I live in town, but it’s a small town, farther away from the big city stores), I would have to say it is easier on a day-to-day basis. I can go weeks without buying anything except groceries here in town. The danger comes when we finally go to the city. It’s like this rush comes over me and I must buy every single little thing that tempts me, because who knows when I’ll get back here! (even worse in winter when highway driving limits our travel)
I haven’t gotten too much into online shopping, other than the occasion item that I can’t find in town–or books. At Christmas I used it a little more, because I didn’t have time to go shopping for gifts. And I actaully found it helped my spending, because I could be a little more organized and think my purchases over before making them.
I will admit–you’ve mentioned babysteals (and for me, kidsteals) on here in the past. That was a serious addiction for me for a while. I actually had my computer pop up with a reminder 5 minutes before the magic hour so I could make sure I was on there in time. God forbid that something I didn’t even know existed come on and sell out before I had a chance to blindly buy it. But I’ve removed the reminder now, and haven’t bought anything from there for months (I will, however, admit to checking out from time to time still–can’t help it!)
I will say that since starting to read your blog, I have seriously started looking at what I’m buying before I buy it. Do I truly need it? I try to make a list of what I need before going to the store, and try not to browse so much.
Babysteals: I was addicted. I timed getting to work around being computer ready to buy the daily deal. I even had a filter set up on my email so that it would forward to my phone should I be away from a computer at the magic hour. Hmmm… no wonder I bought 16 pairs of babylegs before I had a baby. Glad to hear I am not alone in being a reformed baby/kidsteals obssess-er =)
When I worked at a remote fishing lodge I experienced a similar “must buy in city” phenomenon. I worked there for 5 months with a one week break in the middle of it. I spent, spent, spent when I was in town.