My resolutions for 2019 are to have more fun outside and do less housework.
This might sound a bit odd: housework isn’t really optional.
I feel like we’ve streamlined a lot of things: we aim to do less laundry by wearing things a few times before washing them. I’m a huge fan of leftovers and simple weeknight meals. Those two things cut down on kitchen time. But housework is still a significant portion of my day. Enough so that I want to cut down even more. Right now I’m focused on one path to reducing housework: outsourcing. Outsourcing for free.
I’m teaching my kids to do more housework. This really feels like the way forward for me. Having three kid and eating mostly from scratch meals feels like running a bed and breakfast. In fact, it’s one of the still shocking aspects of parenthood. The meal prep and grocery shopping and laundry just never quits.
The boys are currently nine, six and four. Right now they do small bits here and there, tidying up as requested and clearing the table. But we’ve been trying to get them to do more housework and do it more regularly. One thing that has helped is rearranging our kitchen cupboards.
The twenty minute task that will save me many hours this year.
A few months ago we moved our dishes to a low cupboard so that the kids could empty the bottom rack of the dishwasher. We actually took the doors off that cupboard so it was really easy for them to put the dishes away. The older two boys are now pretty good about unloading the dishwasher and starting to get better at loading it. Win!
But I wanted the kids to be able to unload the whole dishwasher. Note that my husband and I are very tall so reaching down for dishes can be a bit awkward. But it’s probably a healthy movement for us to do, right? Recently we moved the glasses and coffee mugs to another low cupboard. Which means the kids can now completely unload the dishwasher on their own. This is amazing.
Do I worry about them breaking china? Not really. I’ll take a few lost dishes for the time savings and the satisfaction of having my kids contribute to running the household.
This is all part of my masterplan to have these boys leave home at eighteen knowing how to clean a bathroom, cook a roast chicken dinner and iron their own damn shirts. I don’t want them going into adulthood, and possibly a relationship, with expectations of a partner doing everything for them.
Other tasks I’m planning to outsource to my kids this year:
- washing pots and pans. We’re teaching my oldest how to properly clean pots and pans. He is the only one tall enough to wash dishes in the kitchen sink.
- packing lunches. We do this in fits and spurts with the kids helping. I want it to become a regular thing that they pack their own lunches. I’ll need to teach my oldest some knife skills to really make this happen.
- folding clothing to put back in their drawer. My oldest is already on this and doing well. The boys share one dresser and with their ever-increasing size they need to fold the clothes to make them all fit in their drawer.
The other win: we have a new laundry system that is saving me a lot of time.
The long term plan is to get the kids all doing their own laundry. Our washer and dryer are stacked so I need the kids to be a bit taller for this to work.
For now, my husband and I recently agreed to alternate weeks being in charge of laundry. The system before was just that we’d both keep an eye on things and start laundry as needed. But if it slipped both our minds laundry started to pile up.
Now we alternate weeks of being in charge of laundry. I love it. I love having my week off and I enjoy that when it’s my turn I have to get it done. No putting things off or hoping my husband steps in.
Housework is inevitable but there are ways to do less of it.
When my kids were younger I really wondered when the household workload would ever get easier. Our younger two children are 22 months apart and there were a couple of really tough years. Add on that my oldest is neurodiverse and has needed extra support in certain areas, and I really couldn’t imagine a time where most meals and chores weren’t on my shoulders.
One thing that has helped is that my husband is working from home now. Having another adult to take on more household work has really helped. And my oldest child, now 9, is actually very responsive to requests to help. He unloads and loads the dishwasher without a lot of complaint, makes simple lunches on the weekend for him and his brothers, and folds and puts away his clothing. The six year old is on the way to doing more as well.
If your kids are under five and you feel like you’re drowning in housework, let me tell you: it gets better. You will teach them to contribute significantly to household work. They can put their clothes and toys away. They will start helping in the kitchen. Know that this phase will not last forever.
If you have children, how do you get them involved in housework?
More on housework and chores:
How to love your ugly kitchen.
Simplifying your laundry routine.
We use chairs and our older two kids (6 and 3) help unload the dishwasher all the time. At first they thought it was fun but now I require them to help me. I remember drying dishes (my brother who is 6 years older has to wash) in a kitchen chair almost every night growing up. I love outsourcing chores and I’m looking forward to the day I can add laundry and yard work among other things to the list.
Great ideas here! I love the specifics you shared of how you are getting the other household members to help with housework, particularly the rearrangement of kitchen storage to enable the kids to do more. A lot of people write encouragement to delegate housework but don’t really give specific strategies on how to make it happen. You have succeeded where they have failed–you provided specific logistical ideas!
We kept cereal, crackers and cookies in the lower cabinets and juice boxes and milk in plastic glasses on the lower shelf of the refrigerator. The kids could get their own snack if I was busy with another activity. They learned to use the dust buster and dishcloths early. “If you (or your guest) make a mess, you clean it up as soon as possible.
We hung a calendar on the refrigerator and the kids put stars on the chores they did that day.
We’ve done the same thing- arrange the dishes so the kids can reach them (they can feed themselves now!) and then they CAN unload the dishwasher because they can reach the low drawers where all the dishes go. It’s a game changer.
I was slightly shocked by how excited my 9 year old was to do her own laundry! And she was totally able to do it, with a few reminders, and was so confident that it was the first thing she shared with her dad when he got home from work.
These are great life skills to learn early! I have to remember that a little effort now will pay off very well later!
So true about the effort now paying off later. I really want my kids to get into laundry. I saw a video a while back of a family where the kids all did their own laundry and the youngest was maybe 4. It was amazing.
I asked them what they like to do and found out my oldest likes doing laundry and the youngest likes folding so they do that. Oldest also likes sweeping so she does that, too. They started making their own lunch in high school. If they don’t make it they have to spend their own money on cafeteria food.
Yes yes yes to rearranging kitchen storage so your kids can help more! This applies to setting the table, too. When we moved into our house a few years ago I was dead set on storing plates/bowls/etc down low, where the kids could reach them.
Our kids are 4, 6, 8, and 10. My husband is much better at pushing them to do chores- in his words “Why else did we have all of these kids?”. I, on the other hand, am better at being a martyr and harboring resentment. One approach tends to work better than the other…
I think the “if… then…” scenario works well for us with household chores. If you unload your section of the dishwasher (each kid gets one of the three dishwasher shelves and our youngest does all the plasticware), then you get to eat breakfast. If you do your laundry and two other house chores this week, then you get to enjoy Friday night movie night. If you pack your lunch three times a week, then you get to keep your allowance (and not use it to pay us back for your school lunch). This has made a lot of our daily and weekly chores pretty conflict free.
Hahahaha “Why else did we have all these kids?”.
Storing things at kid height: wish I had thought of this sooner. It has really changed things in our house.
My oldest says he can’t wait to have kids because then he won’t have to do chores anymore 😂
My kids have always had “chores” … Since they were 4 and 2 they have been responsible for keeping their room clean and hanging their clothes up. At age 5 they become responsible for trash and recycling (which includes collecting all the bags and taking bins to and from the curb). At 7 they are responsible for all dishes (and only one plate has been lost to clumsy child hands).
When we moved and to a house with a second bathroom that was “theirs” they became responsible for cleaning it and will actually argue over who gets to scrub the tolilet because it’s their favorite chore.
They are 8 and 6 this year and also do dusting, cleaning out the car, vacuuming the upstairs, and are fully responsible for their own breakfasts during the school week.
Yes I have to touch up behind them at times and I still have to remind them sometimes to do certain tasks but it’s just the way it’s always been. I can tell you it’s not because I’m some amazing mother, it’s more so because they realize that we are a family and everyone needs to contribute.
What do they eat for breakfast during the school week? I’d like my kids to get their own breakfast but we often have eggs and I’m not ready to teach them how to use the stove. I could start doing it for the mornings they have toast… thanks for this idea!
I leave it up to them. There is always yogurt, cereal, and toast available. We have an electric kettle so they also love making oatmeal on cold mornings.
My older one earned the privilege of using the microwave when he turned 6. He knows how to make microwaved eggs/omelets and can make mug pancakes from the Kodiak Mix. At seven he earned the privilege of using the egg boiler and is also in charge of keeping our hard boiled egg supply up so that also is an option.
(I realize a water boiler and an egg boiler as single use appliances are not technically minimal, but they get used so often and have a lower energy footprint/waste than using the stove that I’m fine with that).
Microwave mug pancakes from Kodiak Mix: amazing!!! I just started teaching my oldest to use the microwave because we moved it to kid height. Hadn’t thought about mug anything. Genius. Thanks for sharing.
Ages 8, 11, 12, 14.
Their rooms – their job to tidy and clean. I’ll step in if they let it get too messy.
Housework – they get paid for chores.
Eg £7/week for drying dishes (one week a month each).
£5/hour for garden work, DIY etc
£1 to hang up a load of laundry. 20p if they only do the socks.
£2.50 to hoover downstairs.
I pay them because I WANT them to have money so they can llearn how to use it. They have to pay for their own “entertainment and treats” – magazines, phone data, cinema, random gifts for friends , ice cream, sweets, Robux, computer games. They soon learn to prioritise.
If one turns down a “job”, another might snap it up.
They get paid at the end of the month. That’s crucial to make them understand that YOU ALWAYS TAKE WORK WHEN IT’S OFFERED. You might feel rich on the 2nd of the month but, turn down work now and there might be no work at the end of the month.
If they borrow (from me or each other), they pay interest.
I also fine them. If I have to pick up shoes, switch off a light, make a bed – I charge them 10p and it comes out their salary.
Been doing this since March 2016 and it’s still going strong!
Thanks for sharing, Karen 🙂 I like how you’ve set it up to teach them to do the work well ahead of the reward.