This post at Miss Minimalist has stuck with me in a good way. The last thing that stuck with me was the movie Inception. Chris and I spent a few days trying to unravel the time lines. I think this is a sign that I need to up the quality and quantity of what I’m reading.
“To be thingless is to possess the world.”
Francine (Miss Minimalist) wrote about the quote above:
Like all things Zen, it shouldn’t be interpreted literally. In our modern times, it’s nearly impossible to be absolutely “thingless,” and none of us actually want to “possess” the world.
This phrase, rather, is a reminder that the less we’re attached to things, the more freedom we have. The less time and energy we devote to things, the more we have for experiences. The less walled-in we are by things, the more open we are to those around us.
I’m not ready to throw my iPhone 4 out the window (dangerous as we are on the 16th floor) but I am ready to devote more time to myself and others – not things.
Despite what you may have read on this blog I don’t have a history of reading self-help books. The one book I have read in the genre that I greatly enjoyed, and is still part of my tiny book collection, is One Day my Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant. Otherwise I have stayed away from Dr. Phil and those Mars Venus books.
With fewer possessions around me, and armed with the fresh memory of getting rid of so many things I paid good money/sat at a desk for many weeks and months of my life for, I am feeling thingless so to speak. Excellent timing as my son is quite mobile now and can walk the perimeter of our condo grabbing DVDs, wine bottles and anything we have left within reach of someone two feet all. I am less concerned with him breaking an item than I am with him breaking himself. Sure, we are sending the message that it’s not good to rip out pages of books and eat them, but I feel fairly ambivalent about the book being ruined.
Some may argue this is a natural progression of parenthood: don’t get too attached to things as your children will ruin them.
But I do feel less attached to things and more available and open to the world. I’ve got new eyes. I’m starting to enjoy a different rhythm to my days, one without endless to-do lists that make me feel guilty or rushing around with an over scheduled afternoon. The lists are short and I focus on the task or little person at hand. I’ve stopped checking the daily update from my Crossfit gym. I used to see the workout online and psych myself out all day about how hard it was going to be. Now I just show up and do the workout. Getting caught in a slow line up at the grocery store isn’t going to set off a chain reaction of late for or missed events and leave me scrambling. I have space in my life to smile at my neighbors in the slow line-up.
I feel like I am possessing my little corner of the world.
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Francine Jay, aka Miss Minimalist, is a celebrated author and her book The Joy of Less, a Minimalist Living Guide was just named to Amazon’s top ten list.
Here we have my first give away! Leave a comment about how you are ‘possessing the world’ or going ‘thingless’ in the comments. I’ll randomly select a comment as the winner and you will receive a copy of The Joy of Less to start 2011.
I will run the contest for a few weeks and link back here in future posts to remind you to enter. Winner announced January 2nd, 2011.
One does not truly possess anything until one gives it away.
I stumbled upon Miss Minamalist and Zen Habits by Leo Babauto over the summer and reading their blogs forced me to realize that I had become a prisoner of my possessions. I spent many days looking for things that had been misplaced and then going out and buying replacements because I absolutely had to have them at that time. Reading the blogs of Miss Minamalist and Leo Babauto also encouraged me to begin my own journey to declutter my space and find my life; however, I knew that I had a limited amount of time to devote to the process. Therefore, I devised a plan to rid my house of ten items per day. I started tracking that journey using a spreadsheet. On the spreadsheet, I would list the date, the item being disposed and the method of disposition. So far, I have donated over 400 books to my local public library, 3 bags of dress-up clothes and toys to my children’s former preschool, educational books to my children’s current school and numerous household items and clothes to charity. I also finally recycled about half a dozen cardboard boxes that I had been holding on to, just in case. In addition, I’ve made a conscious effort to think very carefully before I bring anything new into my home. In fact, this past Christmas, I only purchased gifts for my children. For everyone else, I shopped from my home. I had an inordinate amount of new items that I had previously purchased just because they were a good deal. Years later, since they were still unopened, they became perfect gift items for friends and relatives.
Although I’ve made a lot of progress in my decluttering effort, I still have a long way to go, but I have to admit, the main problem is not the attachment to the possessions as much as it is the lack of time to devote to the process. Still, I have more time now than I had three months ago before I began purging my “stuff”. Happy New Year and keep blogging about your own journey. It’s very inspirational.
Thanks for all the comments! Comments are now closed and I will be drawing for the book winner. Will reveal the winner in my first post of 2011.
I just discovered your blog today and I think it’s very interesting.
I have a list of “101 thing to do in 1001 days” and my n. 96 is “Get rid of 101 things I don’t need. ” Wish me luck!
I’ve read Francine’s blog for a while and pared down my wardrobe as she suggested. Now I can fit everything I own comfortably in the space I have and don’t have to move clothes in and out according to the season. It’s also a lot easier to choose what to wear in the morning, since everything goes together. I would really like to get a copy of her book… Thanks.
I’ve always had a detachment attitude towards “things”. Most things I could take or leave — I’m not sentimental. BUT, I’m married to someone who is sentimental and therein lies the conflict. I’m trying to lead him away from being so attached to possessions by setting a good example.
I have two teenagers and have begun to think about the world they will inherit. It worries me that “things” have become so important to everyone. I hope by example I can show them that experiences and actions are so much more memorable than having “stuff”. This will be a big journey to start on after 47 years of earning and collecting but I know a change will do us all good.
Hi there, just wanted to say I have just discovered your blog and really enjoy reading about fellow aspiring minimalists. Have a great Christmas and New Year! x
Last week I didn’t know what Minimalism was. I found Miss Minimalist’s blog and the very fist post I read was the guest post you, The Minimalist Mom! I just started reading your blog from the beginning, and I’m so excited! I’ve always tried to save money and not focus on things. This year my LO is 1 year old and we bought her a season pass to a local zoo for Christmas in an effort to give her the gift of our time, rather than teach her that Christmas is about getting more things. And then I found minimalism. Minimalism is just what I’ve been looking for! I would love to learn more! Thank you for your blog!
Thanks, K. We also have a one year old and I couldn’t agree more – memberships to experiences are the best gifts! Last year we received an Art Gallery membership and used it a lot. Not sure our son is absorbing the art yet but I like that we are starting the habit of taking him there.
I started thinking about having less stuff back in the 1990s via voluntary simplicity books (my favorite was Janet Luhrs’s The Simple Living Guide). I aspire to living in one of those trailer-able tiny houses like Tumbleweed Tiny Homes, although at 45, I’m not sure that it’s a viable long term plan to have to climb a ladder to get to bed. Today I’m observing the start of winter solstice Discardia by going through the stack of boxes that have remained stacked and unpacked in the middle of my living room since I moved in August.
I found yours and Katy’s blogs via Miss Minimalist, and have skimmed both today for decluttering inspiration. I’m interested in reading Miss M’s book but don’t have room in my book budget to buy it in print or electronically (or all the other minimalist ebooks — I understand why people choose to self-publish ebooks, but I am sad at the lack of access to these materials via public libraries). Thanks for offering this chance to read it!
My husband and I are working our way towards being ‘thingless’.. I don’t know that I’ll ever have no possessions what-so-ever but I can easily see us with much less! We’re trying to prepare ourselves for a big move in 6 months and so far things have been going well. I’ve made two trips to the local Good Will already 🙂
We’re even going very minimal for Christmas this year to save money and put more meaning behind what we do for family. We implemented a plan of one gift per family member and nothing over $10! Well, I’m happy to say that after the end of November, we’ve succeeded! Most everyone is getting a book and or a small gift that they’ve asked for. I’m very pleased.
I’d love to read this book, and if I don’t happen to get it here I’ll probably cave in a few weeks and pick it up myself somewhere!
I am not ‘thingless’ yet but I have just in the last month started reading and learning. Your blog Rachel, and Francine’s, have given me the inspiration and knowledge to get started. Thank you. Hope I win the book, it will be a great launch pad I think.
I’m trying….. one day at a time. It might take me awhile to get there but eventually I will.
I just found her blog a few days ago, and today, yours.
Thank goodness for people like you and Francine, I am now inspired and encouraged.
I discovered your site through miss minimalist. She had a list of 100 ways to embrace minimalism. I started on suggestion 20. Get rid of one item every day. I’m keeping track of all I get rid of day by day. This helps inspire me to keep going. I started this project August 26th and still wonder what’s missing. I look around and just see so much stuff. I’m not keeping it at one thing a day. I’m focused on AT LEAST one thing daily. I am discovering that less truly is more and would love to win the book. I would like to review this for my blog.
I am no where near thing-less either but trying to do so. This Christmas I have tried to give as much as they would accept to Goodwill because people are shopping there to buy less expensive presents and I know it provides work for some people who have no other work. When I lost my job I was forced to move from a 5 bedroom house (not a bad thing!) where too much accumulated and now live in a two bedroom condo I share with a housemate. I am making a considerable dent in the things I moved into storage and will be out of that paid storage by the end of January I am proud to say. Then again these were the things I accumulated over a lifetime including things my daughter left in my care before she moved out. I am trying to go paperless and use the library instead of buying books or magazines. Best wishes to you in your endeavor and the freedom you exude from having done such a good job is captivating!
I, too, grew up in a large family with money woes – in part because of my parents trying to give their kids everyTHING they didn’t have growing up. My husband and I are working our way past our packrat upbringings and trying our best to teach our two wee girls that spending time and showing kindness to those we love mean so much more than STUFF. I’m also paring down oodles of heirlooms so we can keep only what’s most meaningful and focus on making our own precious family memories. It’s a process but we are on our way! Thanks for the inspiring post!
With fewer and fewer possessions, I sometimes feel like a sword-carrying warrior – free in more ways than if I were tied to a large house. Idealistic, I know, but sometimes it really works for me. I can be more effective, I feel, than if I had the commitments I could have had. My circumstances are the by-product of a divorce, but I still get to see my smiling little girl very often. She lights up my world, and this way, Daddy can free up more time to spend with her.
With twin two year olds our path to minimalism is currently on a slow track. Our time with them is more important than our purging efforts. We are slowly but surely making some progress and every month realize we are able to part with more than we ever thought possible. We are also overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff we have. I recently was inspired by the passage in the Bible where Jesus tells the rich man to sell all his possessions and give the money to the poor. I have decided that everything we sell from now on the money will go directly to charities we love. This simple act gives me added inspiration to de-clutter.
That is a great commitment to give the money to charities. When we are out of debt we will be doing something similar.
Slow progress is good progress in my books. It’s easier for your mind to adjust to your new reality when you slowly change your life/home.
Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your twins! If you look on the side bar on this blog you will see a link to my twin sister’s blog.
We are slowly paring down our stuff. My wardrobe was greatly uncluttered when I started the 333 challenge in October, but I think it’s time to try again. It’s my crafting items that are giving me the hardest time. It’s time to be brutal, and donate things to a pre-school program. My youngest is also a bit challenging, but as long as we convince him of the 1 in, 1 out principle we should be fine. Virtually thingless sounds like a great challenge. Think of all of the picking up I wouldn’t need to do!!! I love seeing empty spaces in our home–so very calming.
I’m pretty good by now at keeping things coming in to the house for *me*, but it’s harder for my two new dogs. One has a very short coat, so I’m always tempted to get one more thing that a) she might actually keep on her body, b) fits her well, and is easy to clean. And lets not talk about the toys…
I have become interested in a more minimized lifestyle – though I don’t think I would call it minimalist – being as I have 2 very small children and not enough time to truly go through everything in our house. But, I am trying to take small steps each day to get there. And at least get rid of at least 1 item each day. We had a pretty low key Christmas for our kids (we did it this weekend to avoid the craziness of grandparents next week) and it was the best christmas in a long time.
Clearly I need to win this book so I can get the help I need to go minimalist. I’m currently trying to downsize while trying to minimize what gets brought into the house in the first place. We don’t have elaborate Christmases — just a few gifts for each kid that they will truly appreciate and use. Thanks for the giveaway.
I’ll join a sharing group….and maybe we could expand it slightly as a way to help each other with chores….like get together once a month and make foods to freeze or grab a bottle wine and help each other organize a closet….
I’m nowhere near thingless yet, but I’m making mental changes now so that soon my external life will match up with my inner one.
We are making slow and steady progress and it is liberating. My most recent success is clearing out the fridge and cupboards and only storing the food we need for the upcoming week. We have much less waste and I spend much less time deciding what to eat.
I want more of this. I love the peace it has brought me. I used to waste endless hours browsing craigslist for deals or coveting the latest release from Apple, etc. I feel content.
Currently my family and I are possessing the world by taking a year off of our life in Canada and living over seas. It is great. My children are learning a foreign language and experiencing a different culture. I know they are young and will lose a lot of what they learn but I think the process will still have a profound lasting effect on them. As for my wife and I we are taking things pretty easy. I would say my stress is down by 50 to 75%. It is such a pleasure to not worry about things. I know that this is only temporary but hopefully the process will also have a lasting effect on me. Learning to release some of my stress and enjoy living in the moment. The world definitely feels like it is my oyster.
“Getting caught in a slow line up at the grocery store isn’t going to set off a chain reaction of late for or missed events and leave me scrambling.” This is exactly what I am starting to realize as I get rid of more nad more things in my life. I don’t feel as rushed to get to and from things (except work in the morning, darn that snooze button!) and I have more free time on the weekends that I don’t have to work than I know what to do with. I’ve finally began reading again (hope I get a Kindle for christmas!) and really appreciating my friends and family even more than I did before!
I failed at going minimalistic… My daughter has many toys, clothes and shoes (oh the shoes!!!) and somehow I keep buying more!! I need help because I do believe that less is more! Funny thing is that I, like you, are not attached to any of my things really (apart from some jewelry maybe) and I know that if we had to move tomorrow we would sell/give away pretty much all that we own, like we did before but still it is hard not to buy more stuff…. Every day…. I still enjoy your blog and maybe see you at crossfit one of these days (yes I do check the updates every day haha)
Like Rochelle I can’t say that I’m gong thingless but I am trying to declutter one room at a time. We just loaded up the truck with donations of furniture. clothes and kids toys.
I stumbled upon your blog a few days ago. Great content!
As for your question:
I sold my car and 2/3 of my possessions to join the Peace Corps. Here in Guatemala, I live with very little and the experience has open up my awareness and options significantly.
I can’t say I’m going thingless, but I’ve always more or less been a minimialist parent without really knowing much about minimalism. When my son was born, people kept telling us “you need this, you need that,” and we kept telling them, no we need 1) diapers, 2) a sling, 3) carseat, and 4) clothes. We ended up buying a crib, too, just in case. He sleeps in it now that it’s converted to a toddler bed, but before it made a great changing table! Now that we’re getting ready to move into our first house, I’m definitely in decluttering mode–trying to keep mainly stuff that is dual purpose and get rid of things that we really just don’t use. Just because we’ll have extra space doesn’t mean I want it filled with crap.
Just received my copy of ‘the Joy of Less’ yesterday – It’s sitting tempting me, but I am resisting. It’s my Christmas present to myself and can’t be opened till I get time to really sit down and read it properly.
This is totally unrelated but had to share… just got back from our playdate and was talking with my very good and highly minimalist friend who sold her wedding dress within a week or so of returning from funnymoon. I am in the mood for a big chuck out now! Little one asleep so I am hitting my closet (which is pretty bare anyway!) I reckon there’s a couple of dresses in there that need ebaying… Not the wedding dress – well not just yet anyway… how do I get mud stains out the bottom so I can sell (I got married during a thunderstorm – of course I did what else would you expect from a British summer? Sun?)? ps don’t include me in random generator thingy I have the book 🙂