Love Where You Live: Part 3

This is the third post in a series on making better attachments in your community. You can read part 1 here and part 2 here. 

A big theme in Melody Warnick’s book This is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are, is trying new things and moving out of your comfort zone. Makes sense, right? If you were naturally going to do the things that made you attach to your town or city and make friends there, you wouldn’t need this book. I need(ed) this book. I work from home, I’m an introvert and many of these things I have pushed myself to do have been new and scary. I don’t think I would have attempted them unless I had faced this road map of ways to make myself dig in to and love my new town. The new and scary part is especially true of these last three tasks.

Three ways to build better place attachment from Melody Warnick’s This is Where You Belong:

• Become more political.
• Create something new.
• Stay loyal through hard times. 

Become more political. What does being political mean? Should I jump into running for city council? Organize a march for $10 a day childcare?  I wasn’t quite sure, and honestly I’m still not quite sure, what I want my being more political action to be.

I’m being more political right now by listening and learning. I want to know more about what is going on in this town and what needs are not being met. I read the city council minutes and try to stay up to date on the changing landscape of how vulnerable groups are having their needs met. Our little town faces a lot of the same challenges as Vancouver: a growing homeless population, lack of affordable/available housing and the opioid crisis. The volunteer position I stumbled into my first week here is with an organization that supports children and families. In many ways that was my first political action: invest my time in an organization that does work I believe is important. But further down the road I would like to do more. I know that from the other challenges being patient and open to new things will help me find ways to be more political.

Create something new. This was one of the scariest and most rewarding challenges for me. I needed to create something new in a town I had recently moved to. Something that would engage people. For inspiration I looked to what I would like to see in this town, a service or activity that I missed. After discussing opening a bakery or a Crossfit gym – two endeavours that I think would be great here but I have neither the time, money or experience to start up – I thought of something simpler: a co-working space. There must be other folks here who worked from home – either as a remote employee or as a solo-preneur – and wouldn’t they like to meet other people that worked from home?

To keep this ‘create something new’ project light and easy to start up I asked a local cafe owner that hosts events if she would host a Co- Work Cafe one afternoon a week. She said yes (squee!) and I helped get the word out on a local Facebook group. The initial response online was fantastic but I wondered, would people actually show up? I had name tags at the ready the first afternoon and yes, they did show up! Success. Its’s early weeks with the co-working cafe but it’s already been a huge win for me and I think for the cafe hosting the group. I’ve met several locals that run interesting businesses online and as brick and mortar operations. It has definitely made me feel connected to this place.

Stay loyal through hard times. The six month mark after a big move is usually when the fun and newness of where you live starts to wear off. You might start missing the people and things from your former city. It’s often a time of feeling blue and one that you can either work through or hope that time will bring you out of. I knew the six months blues were coming for me but thought I was doing a good job preparing myself. And then we went on a vacation. We road tripped along the US west coast for two weeks. It was a lot of fun. But I found myself feeling some pangs of dread on our return. As we slowly made our way back I started to feel darker about our new town, thinking of all the things it didn’t have.

My anti-dote to this ‘not totally attached yet’ melancholy was to dig a bit deeper. Try something new. Get more fresh air. Luckily this all hit as the snow was melting and we were finally back on our cargo bike. It felt great to be back on the big bike with the kids. It’s so easy to cycle here and the drivers are so aware of cyclists and respectful. It gave me another wave of appreciation for what this town has. I also decided to try something new: Jazzercise. I’ve been missing group fitness classes but there’s pretty limited options here. I’ve always been firmly in the ‘no dance, no aerobics’ camp – just not my thing – but decided, with some coercion from an acquaintance here, to give Jazzercise a try. And apparently I have been wrong for twenty years: dancing is fun. It’s totally different from the workouts I gravitate to – running, rowing, cycling, weight lifting – and I like how it keeps my brain occupied. Also: they have childcare at the studio. That’s a huge win.

This is only the beginning of my place attachment work. I can see that the ideas in Melody’s book are simply seeds. I’ll have to be the one to nourish these beginnings, plant new ones and continue to do the work. The good part is that it’s mostly been really fun work. Learning to ski, starting a co-working group and volunteering have all been really positive experiences.

If you’re struggling to love where you live or make connections in a new town I highly recommend This is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are (*the paperback is currently on sale for 33% off). Borrow it from your library or invest in your own copy. It is a great road map and motivation for building community and place attachment, AKA increasing your daily happiness.