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Minimalist-ish Family Series: Living in an apartment with Three Boys

by theminimalistmom |
Erin shares her minimalist families story of decluttering and paying off her mortgage.
So much I can relate to about this family with three young boys living in an apartment. Thank you Dawn for sharing!
1.) Tell us about your family, who you are, where you live and things that you love:
My husband and I both worked in education. I was an English teacher and he taught for quite a few years as well. A few years ago he went into technology support and technology teacher education and still works for the schools. He is the tech specialist at a local elementary school. I’m at home with our three boys. We love baseball. We love teaching our kids and playing with them and reading to them. I love to write. He loves to coach baseball.
We bought a two bedroom condo about a year and a half after we got married. One of our big considerations in finding a home was to find a walkable area because I don’t drive. I have epilepsy, and even though I average only one or two seizures per year I am not willing to risk driving.
We found a great little condo community in the growing town of Reston, Virginia, just outside of Washington D.C. Eight months after moving into our new place we found out I was pregnant with twins. Surprise! We sold our Jeep Cherokee and bought a mini van and quickly the cute little guest room/office turned into a cute little nursery for two baby boys. It was an exciting time with a lot of change.
That was eight years ago. Since then we have added another little boy into the mix, and have stayed in our little condo. We have elected to stay for various reasons: It was important to both of us that if financially possible I stay home from work with the boys while they were young. A bigger mortgage for a bigger place would mean I would be back at work to cover the difference. A bigger place would also mean that we would most likely be farther away from things like the metro train into DC and the buses, and finding a walkable place would be more difficult. So we have done we have to do to make it work in our spot. I plan to be back at work again soon, but we’re now more intent on paying off our mortgage than on finding a bigger place. We’ve learned to live with less space and fewer possessions.
Along the way we have learned many things, and one of them is that owning less stuff is not only practical for our living situation, but incredibly freeing. We also love to see how our kids have developed their creativity and values due at least in part to how we live with fewer things and space than other families.
dawnathomeinnutshell

2.) When did you first hear about minimalism and what was your initial reaction?

Minimalism is something I’ve read about for years and I have gotten good ideas from minimalists for how to manage in our space. I love the idea of not being attached to things, but to live more for experiences than stuff. I suppose my initial reaction to minimalism was to envision a basically empty, well-kept cabin in the woods somewhere, but I’ve learned it is much more than that.

3.) What do you find most challenging in trying to live with less stuff? 

The two most challenging things about living with less stuff is that we have to be getting rid of things constantly or stuff accumulates– we cannot let up or we’ll be swallowed alive– and the second is that it can come off as rude at times when I don’t want things from others. The kids bring so much home from school and from birthday parties that I struggle to stay on top of it all. One thing I do instead of saving most of the kids’ school work in a box somewhere, is I take pictures of it. The most important people in my life have been amazing at thinking up creative gift ideas for our family that involve experiences rather than objects, because they know our situation, but sometimes there are things people give me that I just don’t want and I can’t keep. I always feel rude, but I have to get rid of them to maintain my sanity. I try to be discreet about it, but I’m sure some people have figured out that what they gave me is no longer in my house.

4.) What do you find most rewarding in trying to live with less stuff?

The most rewarding part is that I usually know exactly what I have and exactly where it is. I can also say that if anyone breaks into our home they will not be rewarded with much more than an awesome new blender. If they took my laptop they’d toss it when they saw how old it is. We don’t own much of monetary value.

5.) Do you see any challenges (older, bigger kids, retirement, etc) to continuing on with this lifestyle in the future? 
YES. Huge challenges as the boys get bigger. We do hope to move to a bigger space before long, since they will eventually become teenagers, after all, but we want to still live a more minimalist life, with fewer things than the average three-child suburban family. The kids will see their friends getting all sorts of things and want to get them too, and we obviously don’t want to deny them everything, but we want them to see the value in the minimalist attitude. But since they’ve grown up this way so far, they already understand that we place more value on experiences than on stuff, and they are becoming that way also. A perfect example is that they play ice hockey. That is a huge expense, but they love it and we love that they love it. When they talk about wanting something we often say, would you rather have [insert thing] or play hockey? They always choose hockey, of course. But one day that might change.
“If you want to see what children can do, stop giving them things.” -Norman Douglas
Thank you Dawn. I loved reading about how you deal with the challenges of trying to have less stuff and your reasons for living in a smaller home. So much that I can relate to in this (three boys in a condo!).

  • Great idea! That is the reason why I started blogging: get to share and learn from others! Since my Mini turned 1 I find it increasingly difficult to declutter. She likes to empty boxes and drawers and things get so messy. I now tried to clean out toys but she sits in front of the door waiting for me to take them out. It makes my mommy heart sad. But still trying though.

    • 1 to 2.5 is a tough age for keeping the home tidy. Our youngest (22months) just dumps EVERYTHING out. He’s by far our most challenging, willful and energetic toddler. We deal with it by not having too much out and also, reminding ourselves that this isn’t forever. Good luck!

  • Love this – thanks for the inspiration! My husband and I, plus our 4 children live with my parents. Our house is plenty big – around 2400 square feet but the amount of stuff in it is…a lot. Combining our stuff with my parents accumulated stuff (35 years in this house) has been messy. So we’re trying to minimize. We’ve started with cutting down on clothing and that has been wonderful. We’ve done okay with toys, but it’s time for another purge. It made me feel better to hear that you’re always having to get rid of stuff. Thanks for the great read.

    • Wow, Kara, it sounds like you have your work cut out for you! Yes, the getting rid of things never ends. Letting up is basically losing, at lest with my family in our home. Thanks for reading and good luck with the purging!

  • I give you a lot of credit Dawn for living that lifestyle in Reston – I’ve visited the area several times and can feel the “keeping up with the Jones'” mentality just about everywhere – compared to my more rural, much less affluent hometown area. So how does it make sense that I love the Reston area so much? Anyways, enjoyed reading your interview. Wish I had started this semi-minimalist journey sooner – my 3 boys had more toys than they knew what to do with before they were in school. Trying to remedy that now and get them, and my husband, to think about our stuff differently.

    • Thank you, Cindy! Yes, Reston is definitely not an easy place to be frugal minimalists…but I do still love it. Good luck in your journey. It’s a pain to start, but it feels great eventually!

  • What a great idea! Love to read about others, especially families, implementing Minimalism!

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