Baby

Simplifying When Your Family is Expanding

by theminimalistmom |

 

Child number three due any day here.

The only tell around here is my belly. No nursery being painted. No boxes of strollers or swings or furniture to be assembled. The only thing I’m anxious about, again, is childcare while I’m in labor. We’re lucky to have a few people on call for different times of day and children.

As moms of many have said before, babies really don’t need much. Sure, there are some nice to haves and even some must haves – all babies need to be fed and kept warm and clean – but that airplane themed nursery isn’t much use to you when you’ve had six hours sleep in the last 48 hours.

Things I’m simplifying this time around:

skipping after school activities: our oldest has a swimming class one day a week after school. We didn’t sign him up for the second half of the term. It’s already exhausting keeping our toddler occupied during the 30 minute session and the thought of doing so with a newborn strapped to me had me in a panic. We’ll take a break for the last part of the year and get back to it in January.

taking to my bed for the first few weeks: last time around I was up and making dinner soon after giving birth. And walking to town the same week. I had a harder time recovering than I did with my first birth. So I’m going to try and have more day time rest this go around which will probably mean more screen time for my other two.

my husband is taking an extra week off work: one week of paternity leave and a week of vacation. I’m really excited about this bit because we should have a couple of mornings a week with just us and the new baby (second born just started two mornings a week of daycare). Plus I know the older two will really enjoy having him home during the day.

meals: We have a few things stashed in the freezer that I’ve made in the last month but I’ve decided not to stress if we’re eating less than ideal food in the first weeks. The UK is actually pretty good for “fresh” precooked meals in the supermarket that are relatively cheap. Take out options here are limited but I’ve already got grocery delivery slots lined up for the next three weeks. Thankfully everyone in our house is agreeable to things like scrambled eggs with fruit for dinner and our oldest gets lunch at school.

So now we just wait and see. C’mon baby! We’re ready for you.

Do you need much for a third baby? Nope.

This time I splurged on a co-sleeper; I really wanted one with our last baby but never pulled the trigger on it.

So… eBay to the rescue. I found the Arms Reach Mini CoSleeper used for about a third of retail price. We still have this Bjorn bouncer we got second hand for #2, a box of infant clothing, a wrap, nursing pillow and a glider a friend gave me. And while I am pretty sure we will get a double stroller I’ve decided to hold off for now. If this baby takes to wraps and carriers, and our second continues to want to walk more, we might just get a buggy board for our stroller instead of investing in a two-seater.

Our other big purchase: a car. Sadly the French Rollerskate bit the dust. We drove it for a few weeks with no power steering and no functioning heater before the repair quote came in – almost as much as the car. We debated just getting it fixed but our oldest was outgrowing the minimal leg room in the back. More on that in another post but our new to us seven year old car feels like the height of luxury. No leaks! Working radio! Power steering! Leg room for all!

Much updating to be done to my in/out list for the year, especially with furnishing a house from scratch. Hopefully have a post up as 2014 wraps up on how I did for the year.

For other parents trying to simplify hop over to this post and please, scan the comments. Some great tips from parents that have raised children with nothing that you would find on a conventional baby registry.

Did anyone else find themselves doing less preparation as they had each subsequent child? I’m barely two years out from having my last one and yet I’ve had to remind myself to get the minimum ready for my post-partum recovery and the baby’s arrival.

More posts on keeping it simple with a new baby:

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  • So nice for you to be able to have your husband home for those first two weeks. Sleep as much as you can, rest, and let things take their course. Keep us updated it!!!

  • Our second is just 7 weeks old. We have the co-sleeper of which you speak, but since his growth spurts kicked in, he’s been in bed with me nursing many times a night–I decided it was really not life-affirming to count how many times. But the co-sleeper is a good investment beacause when you can put them in it you can sleep, roll around however you want w/o worrying about where the baby is. I noticed last night that he already knows how to roll closer and closer.

    We bought a better stroller/car seat this time around because I need to kug him around quite a bit and need something light and easy to take in and out of the car, on shopping trips etc. We also renewed our 4-year old’s toys as I’d recently gotten rid of a number she no longer uses. We got out about one new thing a week for a month. It was quite helpfull–plus now she once again has a few toy options to choose from–I’ll even be able to star hiding 1/2 again so that I can pull a switch when I want her to play by herself again!

    We didn’t sign up for any weekly activities, BUT our village has fuul-day activities for school kids during school vacations and we found those to be worth the money. Also, you might find this silly, but stickers for stcker charts to create incentive for ‘big girl’ behavior when she’s regressing a bit. You can’t really punish a kid for regression, in my opinion, so positive incentives for getting dressed or eating alone again are helpfull.

    I like your idea to stay in bed, but I didn’t do it at all. I’m fine, amazingly. Unless the meltdown is coming later 😉

    I wish I had more time alone with my oldest–I’m working on getting family and friends to come play with the baby so we can just have 1 in 1 time. A non-material luxury!

  • I hope that you are able to get all the rest you need the next few weeks. There are also seat/buggy board attachments that you can buy so that if #2 wants to sit he would have the option. I saw some at Toys R Us online when we were looking for our new double stroller a few months ago. We found a stroller seat with the jump seat/board in back for $130 online, the seat/buggy board attachment was $99 and we lacked a functioning stroller to attach it to.

  • Dear Rachel,

    I’m wishing you a speedy labor and a wonderful birth. What an exciting time!

    Agreed that there is not that much you need to get to prepare for a new baby, besides the bed, car seat, carrier, clothes. I bet you’ll be more relaxed about taking care of the baby too. Even though you have more going on in your household, you’re more of an experienced parent and that confidence will shine through.

    Sending all my best to you and your family,
    Amy

  • Congrats!! As a mother of three myself, I LOVED the mini-cosleeper. We bought one with giftcards after our first, used it for all three of ours and have loaned it out so many times. About to hand it over to my sister-in-law to use for her first. As much money as we spent on it, I love that we’ve been able to share it as much as we have. Definitely one of the best baby purchases for us.

  • What a wonderful period of life you are going through Rachel. All the best to you and your family!

    Much love,
    Apple

  • Definitely. The first child had a baby shower, prior to delivery, with a fully made up nursery and crib, recliner and such. Total waste for our personal needs. We started from scratch after I couldn’t bear to let her cry it out in her room. Craigs-listed the lot and bought a very firm foam mattress (double size), large mirror and dresser (mounted to the wall), took off all of the doors and baby-gated the top of the stair. We co-slept her in her nursery until we weren’t needed there anymore.

    Then when baby 2 came along, moved our now 2 year old to a “big girl room” next door where she was permitted to select the wall color, duvet and toys to come with. There she had a standard bed set-up, low bookcase and dresser (all mounted to the wall, because- climbers) but again no doors to protect fingers. The second baby set up nice and quick, compared to the first, it was a tough learning curve for us but they’re both great sleepers and am proud to say they now use doors quite well. lol

  • Oh, so little preparation for my third and it was my quickest recovery and most peaceful newborn time. It sounds like everyone there is excited and that you are keeping things clear and simple.

    My children were further apart, but I found that when my husband returned to work, it was REALLY beneficial to have a special box that I could pull something from that was new/exciting, when I needed to spend hours on a nursing bender or just needed a second of space… It sounds like you have daycare/school, which I didn’t, so that may be enough time. But, simple things to do (a blank notebook, books on tape, toys that maybe the little one hasn’t seen for awhile, a few picture books that they could look at by themselves, etc.). It didn’t take much for my kiddos, a blank notebook and some new art supplies last for quite a while, but I just needed something to pull out on occasion. (We also had friends “loan” us a couple of little people games such as balancing animals and dominoes that the kids could just build with as well as a few little puzzles that my kiddos hadn’t seen. I used them for the first few weeks and then gave them back, happily, with a big thanks!)

    Wishing you a peaceful birth and a wonderful return home. Enjoy!

    • Kind of like a nursing basket but for your other children. I like it.

      My five year old is pretty good at getting his own sticker books and Duplo out but a basket with a few goodies for the almost two year old is a good idea. I think I’ll try and put something together that I can keep my own water bottle/nipple cream/Kindle/snacks in as well.

  • Congratulations! Since your husband will be around, you may want to try this rule of thumb for you and your recovery for the first couple of days/weeks: 3 days in the bed, 3 days on the bed, 3 days around the bed. (As in your focus should be on your newborn. Stay in bed except for bodily functions, but as much as possible, have your meals brought to you) then 3 days on the bed….you can get up a little more, but really stay in your room, on the bed lounging. Finally 3 days around the bed, mostly staying in your room. I wish I had done this, it sounds so luxurious. 9 days may sound like a lot, so maybe you want to modify a little, but definitely take as much time as you can for just you and your babe!

  • Congratulations on your soon so be baby #3 earth side! I had my #3 last summer. We had a planned Homebirth. Everything went great but after 18+hours of labor I sure did miss those automatic hospital beds! My mother fed us for two weeks which was wonderful! Like a total dope I thought it would be a good idea to go to an estate sale 10 days post birth. I was with my hubs, mother in law and a friend. It was July in Oklahoma we had to stand outside in the heat to get in, forgot my water bottle and once inside it was a hot crowded mess. I was miserable, hungry and thirsty and eventually angry! I couldn’t just leave and my mother in law was taking forever! Finally I told everyone I was going to the car. We had to wait another 20-30 min for my mil! By this time I’m delirious & dehydrated & in agony from my back which I had unknowingly fractured during labor! It was a disaster and I should have just stayed home! Sounds like you learned not to be a rock star too. Stay in bed. Relax. Have a nurse in. Sheesh. There’s more to my story but you get the point. Lol.

    • I went to IKEA the second week after having our first and hauled out flat pack furniture by myself. Mistake!
      Thanks for the reminder to stay close to home and take it easy.
      My first was a planned home birth and it was amazing!! 🙂

  • Congrats on your third baby! We’re on the same journey, I’m at half the pregnancy of my third too. In the beginning of our parenting time I accumulated stuff, mostly given, but now we’re with time into simple, natural continuum parenting. We’ll cosleeping, breastfeed, and carry in wraps, so we don’t need much (cloth diapers, some clothing if it’s a girl, but not much since we wash every other day) and can even give what we had with our twins (I hate the double stroller haha). We unschool so the oldests are learning to be more autonomous. I love the tips you give, simplicity feels better, and we have more time for the important matters. Have a great encounter with your new one!

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