Here’s something I haven’t heard many people talk about: weight fluctuations are really hard on your wardrobe. Not just because you need multiple sizes but as you are growing out of things you stretch them out. Clothing gets misshapen. All that tension on the seams does damage.
My clothes are in rough shape right now.
Three babies in six years has left me with a wardrobe that is limping along. I gain everywhere when I’m pregnant and I gain early. I also like to pretend I’m not gaining weight because hey, I can squeeze into my regular jeans. I destroyed clothing by refusing to wear maternity clothing. Nice winter weight leggings? Stretched out. Good jeans? Waistband twisted and rolled over and seams clinging together.
Another factor on my diminished wardrobe: I don’t own a lot of clothing. So whatever I do have gets worn out fast.
Two years ago I was feeling happy with my modest collection of tees, cardigans and jeans but now I am back at the starting blocks. And really, a few miles away from the starting blocks as I’m struggling to shake off the last 15 lbs from this pregnancy (gah!! third baby!). Struggling and yet, dreaming and scheming of a “done with having babies” wardrobe.
Should you keep clothing that doesn’t fit?
On that note: should you keep clothing that doesn’t fit you?
Do you have a someday wardrobe tucked away? Maybe even sprinkled in the closet and drawers with your current wardrobe, taunting you every morning that you’re not worthy of wearing them today.
What should you do with clothing that doesn’t fit? This is a very common question as people declutter their wardrobe. Many of us have gained and lost weight over the years due to pregnancy, lifestyle, illness, hormones, you name it.
It’s the jeans you fit into five years ago, the fantastic little black dress in the size you were for all of three months when you were obsessed with the gym and calorie counting or the bikini you wore on a beach vacation long long ago, before children, before you even started your current career.
Maybe they’re tucked in a box in your garage. As the seasons change and you tote out boxed up snowsuits and winter boots and see that box, the box that says, “if you’d just try harder I’d be in your closet and you’d be really happy,” and shame, guilt and frustration washes over you.
Fitting into your skinny jeans will not make you happier.
Fitting into your skinny jeans will not make you a better person.
Fitting into your skinny jeans will not give you more sleep, make you rich, put dinner on the table, lower gas prices or walk the dog.
Get rid of them.
Sending your skinny jeans away does not mean:
- you’ll never be that size again
- you’ve given up
Sending your skinny jeans away does mean:
- you like who you are today
- you’re living in this day, this world and this life – not the past
Of course, if you’re well on your way to wearing them in the next few months, keep them.
But if they’ve been taunting you for years and you can’t get them over your thighs, send them away.
You need to look in your closet and feel good about what you’re going to wear today. You need to feel good about yourself today – whatever shape or size it may be.
Excellent advice for capsule wardrobes.
Have you read The Vivienne Files? I linked to it on Facebook recently. One of my sisters tipped me off about this fantastic resource for capsule wardrobe building and packing for travel.
The Vivienne Files is written by Janice Riggs and the content… is amazing. If you have a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear, you need to start reading The Vivienne Files.
What’s different about The Vivienne Files? Capsule wardrobes are a common term and you can find information on building your own everywhere.
Janice’s system is different. She starts with a Common Wardrobe. These aren’t necessarily pieces that are old world classics – think beautiful but basic t-shirts instead of the standard white silk blouse. It’s capsule wardrobe basics with a modern twist. Think denim button down shirt and even coloured jeans. Yes, the other interesting piece to The Vivienne Files: you have to pick your colours.
This is an addictive blog! Janice’s writing about modern wardrobes and her methods, and all of her wonderful slides on wardrobe combinations, will have you sorting your closet and making 4 x 4 travel wardrobes. You start with a common wardrobe, you choose accent colours. You wait patiently and build.
You let go of things that were bought in error or simply aren’t being used
You also forgive yourself for shopping mistakes. I like that there is a focus on waiting and that if you follow Janice’s method, there is a clear picture of what you should be, and shouldn’t be buying. No temptations to purchase things that don’t fit your lifestyle, colours or wardrobe plan.
Also, Janice has Project333 help!
I did just give in and get a pair of well fitting jeans. Gretchen Rubin would label me a classic underbuyer: I put off getting things until well past when I first needed them. There is some good to it (you buy less) but also some bad: you buy the item quickly and don’t do a lot of research or look for sales. This underbuyer is excited to use some of The Vivienne Files’ worksheets to plan my post-nursing, post-babies, wardrobe.
Are you a weight fluctuator? How do you manage your wardrobe and do you find that shifting weight repeatedly is hard on your clothes? Also, do you keep clothing in different sizes? I’ve kept everything in my ‘regular adult’ weight to my post-babies weight but I long ago gave away my ‘skinny’ clothing from a brief time when I was almost 20 lbs under my usual weight.
“Fitting into your skinny jeans will not make you a better person.
Fitting into your skinny jeans will not give you more sleep, make you rich, put dinner on the table, lower gas prices or walk the dog.
Get rid of them.”
Amen sister!
I’ve gained 60 in my last pregnancy. I’m still holding on to 15. I’ve been hopping through different sizes of clothing like I used to go bar hopping in college. That’s a LOT of sizes, lot of guilt and shame and clutter.
Thank you for helping me confirm what my gut has been telling me all along, but I did not allow myself to hear. I really needed that. I’m clearing out my closet, getting rid of the guilt, and moving on.
With having three babies myself, I’ve had a lot of weight fluctuation too. After my most recent baby though, I found out something about myself. I hate jeans. Like really, really hate them. I never feel good in them and I don’t feel like they look good on me. My solution is dresses. Wearing dresses every day seemed weird to me, but now it’s just my normal. They’re casual cottony dresses that have a high waist and I feel like I look good every day. It also helps hide the weight changes, though I did have to go down from large to medium when I lost 20 lbs last year. 😀
Oh yeah…our youngest of four (and last) just turned one and I’m about three pounds away from where I would like to be so I have been putting off buying new clothes, except a few tunics that are more forgiving, and I want to get rid of the larger sized clothing but it is hard to know if I am going to be able to maintain this weight or not…so how long should I wait to finally start investing in a new wardrobe??? I don’t know! I do know that when I do finally make the switch that I DEFINITELY want to use these methods! SO glad to know that I am not alone!
Dawn – I understand the what ifs around weight maintenance. With my other two children I went below my pre-pregnancy weight for a bit (I usually lose weight when I’m nursing) and then gained a bit once I weaned. I’m not sure what my not-breastfeeding, not-pregnant adult weight will be. So for now I’m keeping an extra small wardrobe so I can see where I settle in in the next year.
I love decluttering and can tackle every area of my life apart from my wardrobe. This is precisely because of the weight thing. I do not want to be this weight so why throw out good clothes for a slimmer me and only keep clothes for a figure I hate? I keep promising to lose the wieght anf then tackle the wardrobe. Meanwhile I’ve bookmarked Vivienne.
I have the opposite problem if you can believe it. They say do not shop for your dream body size but for the size you currently are. I am currently very fit and a size 0. I keep expecting myself to gain weight and have babies in the next few years etc. And keep buying bigger sized clothing. When ever i buy, i want it to last me a good 5-10 years and i buy good quality stuff. And this ideal hasnt been working that great for me.
Any tips for me ?
Ha! Well you are shopping for your current size so go with it. Some women don’t have a significant shape change after having children so I wouldn’t worry about it for now.
Before I retired I had 2 pairs of slacks and 2 button down shirts that I would wear on the days that I had only lecturing to do. For classes that involved physical activity I’d just wear yoga pants & a fitted t-shirt. If we went hiking I’d wear hiking boots, jeans, a t-shirt and a fleece jacket if it was chilly. Now that I’m retired I spend my days either in yoga pants & a fitted t-shirt or jeans & a fitted t-shirt although yoga pants usually win out. I love to life my life in yoga pants.
ueeze, I could put all my clothes into a suitcase…
As my youngest is 8, it is only lately that I’m steadily back to my pre-children weight (NB. not shape!). As my weight is steady now, I enjoy buying and wearing nice clothes. I used to have embarrassingly small amount, now I have more, but still, all (incl coats) fit into a single wardrobe. As the kids are older, and I am working more, I spend 4 days in a week in black skirt/trousers -white blouse-cardigan outfit. 3 days a week in jeans-a top-fleece/jumper outfit. I have a few elegant dressy outfits, sports clothes and some summer/holiday clothes. That’s all! 🙂 At a sq
Well done on the steady weight. I am hoping to get back to my ‘regular’ size in the next six months.
One suitcase of clothes 🙂
You are right the weight fluctuation is not mentioned very often in minimalist wardrobe posts. So thanks for your honesty and it makes me feel better about my sometimes pathetic wardrobe. Currently I am still in the stage of having babies (and will be for several more years). So I do have a box packed away with larger clothes and maternity clothes for the next time I am pregnant. But I try to only save the classic pieces that I love and know I will want to wear again. SO not totally minimalist, but definitely practical for me since I know my weight WILL change again in a few months.
Kajsa – stay strong! It’s helping to have one or two outfits that fit and that I feel really good in – whatever size I am at. And I think you can be minimalist-ish and still store pieces that aren’t in your current size. I did! Once you have the first baby you know that you’re not likely to jump into your regular clothes the week after the baby is born. Usually it takes me 6 to 9 months to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight. Much slower third time around sadly.
We are pretty sure we are done with children and as you can imagine it has bittersweet/thrilling to say goodbye to my maternity clothes. Feels like a nice fresh start to the next chapter for me.
Gah! This is so me. A lot of my stuff dates from before child #2, when I was a good 10-15 pounds slimmer. Since she’s been born, I’ve been battling the frustration of having few things that seem to fit well but not having a lot of money – or time – to spend getting a better wardrobe. I’m also challenged by the fact that I need different kinds of clothes – clothes for hanging around the house and doing yardwork, clothes for teaching and looking professional, clothes for the occasional formal occasion, clothes for working out (I’m still wearing things I wore from HS and college sports!). I try to make things work in differrent areas of my life, but it only goes so far. AND I’m a classic underbuyer too. And now kiddo #3 is coming along (unexpectedly), so now my wardrobe needs are shifting yet again.
Rant over. I’ve been interested in capsule wardrobes for a long time, so I’m looking forward to checking out this blog.
I understand your frustrations. The Vivienne Files could be a good plan for work clothes. She does these 4 x 4 wardrobes that mix and match. A bit harder if you’re fluctuating in size but I am sure you could have some crossover pieces between sizes like cardigans and accessories. Good luck with #3! We are finding three to be a lot of work but also a lot of fun.
I don’t really have a problem with weight fluctuation, but I totally am an underbuyer… and you’re right, that’s bad. My problem is that now that I am past babies & breastfeeding (alright, that was 3 years ago), I really know what I want and don’t want in wardrobe pieces (through some past mistakes and self-evaluation) and now I’m super picky! Which is good, but not so good. I have a list on my phone that includes 16 pieces of clothing that I really should buy sooner rather than later… like replacing my winter coat that’s almost as old as my marriage (which is 14 years) and looks like a mangy dog and supplementing my ONE pair of good jeans. I’m going to check out that website you recommended. I’ve been following Imogen at http://www.insideoutstyleblog.com/ and I love her posts and her help! Now, if I can only find affordable clothes that meet all of my qualifications (and budget!).