When you have five siblings and a growing group of nieces and nephews, holiday gift giving can quickly become both a huge financial commitment and a lot of work. In my early 20âēs, I started to dread the gift giving season a little more each year.
After some discussion with other family members, I found out I was not alone in feeling burnt out and broke from our holiday gift giving. Christmas had quickly becoming a bigger expense and stress than any of us wanted it to be.
So, we stopped giving presents to each other and started giving more time. My brother hosted all of us in his home for a few days. We played ping pong and went sledding. We all wrapped up a small gift and had a long and loud game of Yankee Swap. Instead of spending hundreds of dollars on gifts for each other we contributed financially to a charity of our choice.
The gift of each others time has proven to be the most memorable gift my siblings and I have given each other in recent years.
As the holidays loom take a closer look at how you can give without wrapping something up.
Read more at Life Your Way.
We are taking a similar stance ourselves with Christmas presents. Focusing on “giving” within our relationships has far much value than “giving” material stuff. And I think it cna be more than giving time too (although that is so important). We could focus on giving more compassion, understanding, fun, support and so on.
My mother is great a this. If we don’t need anything, she simply doesn’t buy us anything. Never has done. We always had a christmas stocking with a pair of socks, chocolate, a book, or the like, but not a big present. She does the same with my now on birthdays and Christmases. if he doesn’t need anything he doesn’t get anything. He didn’t receive a birthday present this year but instead she’s just bought him a pair of well-needed winter boots. Less pressure to buy something for the sake of it but more focus on what’s actually needed. I don’t always follow her methods but I think this is a good one.
I meant kitchen* not chicken, haha!
Coming from a very poor country (Cuba) I never had Christmas gifts, or even birthday gifts, the only toys I remember of my entire childhood were exactly two dolls, a stuffed kangaroo animal with a baby in its pouch, a set of maracas instrument that I begged for about two years to be able to get, and a little plastic chicken stove a neighbor gave me because it was broken but to me was like new. Now coming from what its considered a very poor country, I had a LOT compared to other kids, I remember having friends making dolls out of towels twisted and tied with thread and boys using the caps of bottles with strings through the center as a yo-yo or something similar, and take into consideration those were the only toys I ever had my entire childhood. I now have four children and try to teach them that Christmas should not be about presents only, but it is aside of their birthdays, the only time of the year that I actually buy them a toy, an expensive electronic or something else other than clothing. I do expend too much on them, but I don’t feel bad because once that occasion is gone, it takes a year for that too happen if you know what I mean. Now I do agree that we should try teaching our kids to give more than what we receive. At least twice a year if not more, I ask my kids to be honest with themselves and give away toys and clothes they no longer want or use and together we donate them, I explain to them how other kids don’t get those things, and even put in my own experiences.
Back in the old times (ie my childhood), we got presents for Christmas and birthdays that would have been to expensive or difficult to buy just on a quick trip into town. I remember getting my first ever trainers as a Christmas present, remember getting a beautiful handmade dress on another Christmas, a box of Ritter chocolate (a friend of my grandparents’ bought it for me on his holidays in Austria) as a birthday present. These days the average person can get pretty much anything they want. More money, more available credit, globalization…. therefore getting a tangible present is not so essential these days. This is why I think you are right in saying that giving and receiving time and attention can provide the classic “Christmas spirit” more than running around in shopping centres looking for presents to people who have everything they need. ð
However, we put together shoebox full of presents with the kids, which will be shipped over to children who need ‘stuff’. My boys really enjoyed thinking about (and even shopping for) what a 5 and an 8 year old boy from Ethiopia would want and need for Christmas. Picking up toys, clothes, chocolate, toothbrushes and toothpaste, and pack them was the highlight of this week. the whole exercise also reminded them how much they have and how little they really need.
That was my childhood too. A winter coat was a big gift to get and Christmas was also a time for new clothes (we rarely got back to school clothes). Things changed a bit in my teen years. I remember desperately wanting hot curlers for my hair and got them at Christmas ð
So fun and lovely that your boys are so involved in the giving process.