Talking about Kid Clutter this week. More here. Bit behind on posting this week – I blame my kids!
Waldorf inspired fair trade toys make me really happy. I love looking at the craftsman ship, the beauty of a simple design made with quality materials, and imagining how nice my home would look with only hand carved play fruit and a toy kitchen made of up-cycled wood as reminders that children live here.
My reality: Mr. Potato head and his bucket of plastic parts is a hit with both of my kids and their friends. While I haven’t bought any of their battery powered plastic toys myself, I haven’t confiscated the much loved Leap Frog guitar, Fisher Price DJ deck or the musical walker either (though I have wanted to many times!). I’ve steered our train collection to wooden brands mostly because all the plastic models have fallen apart after a few visits to the beach.
If you want to reduce Kid Clutter you have to be honest about what your kids really play with, wear and enjoy. Because the dark truth about kid clutter: Kid Clutter is Actually Parent Clutter.
The buck stops with you.
Yes, this is a bit of tough love. Unless your children have part-time jobs and are buying their own toys/gadgets/clothing, everything that is in your home you bought or allowed to cross the threshold.
Even the gifts from well-meaning relatives and friends.
Even things you bought to keep them quiet on a long shop at Target.
Even the beautiful toys you so hoped your children would love and cherish as much as you love looking at them.
So before you set your plan in motion to reduce kid clutter, empower yourself with the knowledge that you can reduce the clutter. You can and you will.
If a fly-by-night clean out won’t work for your house start small.
Inform the household there will be some changes. Toys left out overnight will be ‘jailed’ for a week. Toys left out three times will be donated.
Too harsh? Ask the kid’s to fill a box to donate to children who have no toys.
Need to give more motivation? If your child has been begging for something tell them you will help them save for it by buying some of their toys from them (or help them sell them on eBay or a local buy and sell).
A powerful call to action is in order. Decide what tactic will offer the path of least resistance for you and go for it.
How do you assist or ask your children to declutter?
More resources and ideas for dealing with kid clutter:
Rachel of The Small Notebook has her young daughter pick toys to keep and toys to give away.
Brook of Slow Your Home does the same evil Santa Clause routine that I do…
Next up: How To Keep Kid Clutter From Coming Back. Yes, just like head lice, curing it once doesn’t mean it won’t hit your home again.
For a long.time I wanted my kids to use the leapfrog electronic toys. I thought that since it looks like the regular games that while they played they would learn. They rarely use them. I spent a lot of money in it n the actual disk that it needs. Well, I learned my kids preference was chalk n the sidewalk or an easel to play teacher. So we ended up playing n learning that way.
When we moved to Australia every little old lady ( well meaning ) at every thrift store we entered wanted to give G whatever they could not sell. It was plastic garbage or stuffed toys which reproduce very quickly. We decided to politely say “thank you” then of course within a day G had forgotten them. We sent them back to the thrift store. This way no drama in the moment and we knew they would leave quickly. We learned our lesson when at a “secret santa” G ended up with a plastic barbie type doll she really wanted. She took it home and two days later mys sister noticed a leg under the bed…the doll went in the garbage. Our lesson was the plastic breaks and we are contributing to so many environmental no-no’s we now steer clear of that type of stuff. G is 3 on Monday and I have told everyone what she wants and what she does not want…. age appropriate games and art supplies and that is it. It may sound picky but she enjoys those things and they will get used. This way friends and family do not waste money. I have realised G cares less than I do when I cull her toys. If I make a big deal out of it she does too so we cull quietly and together, no fuss. Luckily she has friends who have everything you can imagine so when she plays at their house she gets to try things out.
I try to ensure she has toys that are boy/girl appropriate too. She has dolls and she has cars. If she p-lays with something lots we keep it. As for books we go to the library and get 40 books at a time. It is free and a fun outing.
We encountered the well meaning spirit of giving a lot this Christmas. Every celebration we went to seemed to come with a bag of cheap toys from Santa or a box of chocolate bars. The chocolate bars are actually more of a hassle for our family because it’s way too much for our older son and we have to set some limits on what he can have. And then the rest seem to get eaten after he has gone to bed…
Just like your system, we let him accept and play with the toys and they were soon forgotten about and sent back to our thrift stores.
Happy birthday to G!!! Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating. Enjoy that Australian summer 🙂
LOL this whole post is so true..
Luckily my 5 year old girl loves wooden toys, she has lalaloopsies and my little ponies too though.
I have found it useful to explain to her why plastic toys are bad, i.e break easily, bad for environment, made in sweatshops etc.. she does understand.
I am going to try this ‘toy jail’ tonight if she won’t pick up.
Thanks! xxx
We rotate our toys. Best.thing.ever. 🙂 We’ve only donated toys twice. Once when my youngest outgrew ‘baby’ toys (July 2012), and this Christmas (Dec 2014).
My family has been amazing about gifts. Not sure I ever explicitly said, please don’t do plastic toys or we prefer wooden toys, but they always follow our wish list, or use it as inspiration. They also are great about listening to ‘no toys needed right now.’ We’ve got a ton of LEGOs (from our own childhood and we were gifted with some from a LEGO as well), and we’ve got a plastic ‘laptop’ that I could do without, but otherwise, it’s a bunch of gorgeously handcrafted Waldorf toys that are extremely loved.
Ashlee how old and what sex are your kids? Sounds fab! 🙂
Yes! Ultimately, kid clutter is our fault as parents. I have been streamlining and decluttering toys from the very beginning. I’ve used many different methods and now my girls are mostly in charge of the process. (My girls are now 7 and 9).
When they were younger, I would hide toys they were not playing with. Sometimes I would just get rid of them, other times I would box them up and put them in the garage. If they asked for a toy by name, I could go get it for them (they only did this once or twice).
As they got older and were motivated by money, we would have mini-yard sales during the summer or I would “buy” certain toys from them (believe me I wasn’t giving them much $, but it was enough for them to let go of the toys).
Now, we regularly (every other month) go through all the books, toys and other stuff in their room. They decide what to keep and what to get rid of. Their storage space is limited and they know when it becomes too much. Sometimes when they are bored I challenge them to find 10 things they are ready to get rid of. It’s a game to them and off they go!
We’ve started being very specific about gift requests and often request memberships instead of gifts (zoo, aquarium, science museum…). Still, when they get items they don’t really want, they don’t feel obligated to keep them. We have resold books and games on line and simply donated or regifted other gifts. We don’t live near family, so the issue of keeping it around for the grandparents’ sake doesn’t exist. And when they visit…hopefully they will notice our minimalist preferences.
Love, Love, Love the idea of “buying” the kids toys. My son is too young to understand that yet, but he is not far from that. He gets so overloaded (by family and friends) during the holidays and Christmas that we rarely bring in anything new over the course of the year. But he too remembers items that have been out of sight for several months. I am honest though about where they went or where they are going. He has a few cars that require batteries for sounds (ambulance, police car, etc) and I actually take the batteries out because they are too loud. He hasn’t thrown a fit over that, thankfully, and just makes his own sounds. Also, my son is in a preschool program and has play dates, so he sees all of the plastic toys that are available. Of course he wants batman vs wood blocks at this point. Never an easy solution. 🙂
My son is in preschool too and he loves it but it generates a lot of “I wants” for more toys (they have a fantastic stash). Recently he has been asking for a pirate ship. We have a lot of trains, dozens of them, and we asked him to think about ones he would trade in so that he could get a pirate ship.
Nice idea to remove the batteries. Often we have run out of batteries so our son has to do the same. Or, at least, we say we have run out of batteries 🙂
Oooo this one hurt to read… 🙂
I’ve just been paying attention to what my toddler plays with. I use a toy rotation so it’s pretty easy to notice the toys that get ignored when they’re in rotation. I secretly take the unloved toys and put them in a box in the closet for a month or so, then donate them. She’s only asked for one toy back, and luckily it was still in the box. Thankfully, she just “sold” that toy to us today in exchange for a much better toy that she really wanted. I have to admit, it is getting a lot harder to cull the toys now. We’re to the point where we only have “good” toys (though I still count Mr. Potato Head as good) and we still have quite a lot. Thanks for the great posts – they’re keeping me motivated!
I have to smile as I read this — I love wooden toys, and my ideal play room would be stocked with simple, beautiful, well-made items! But like you said, children don’t necessarily share that enthusiasm for “understated” toys. My oldest is only three, so I still have quite a bit of control over his playthings, but I know it will be harder as he gets olders and becomes (even) more opinionated about his toys. As it is, his memory is frustratingly clear, so he’ll somtimes ask about a toy that was removed months ago due to damage or lack of use. Hopefully he’ll soon be old enough to participate in donating unused toys, thereby learning generosity, etc.
We do have a “no electronic toys” rule, and so far we’ve been consistent in that — the grandparents know not to buy those toys, and have been quite understanding about it! We also try to stick to simple toys that require the child to *do* something — blocks, wooden trains, stuffed animals, etc. I just can’t wait to pass on the Legos that my husband and I have from our childhoods! Only a few years to go…
This is a great read for me, as we have a small home and don’t want to overfill it with toys — thank you for yet another helpful post on keeping it simple!
Blessings,
Shannon
I wish I had stated early on that we would prefer no toys that require batteries. Alas, we did not and my kids have a few beloved battery required toys. I’ve been hiding a few of them away to see if I can send them on to another family soon.
Interesting to read/ hear as my daughter is 2.5 years old so I wonder when I’ll be able to explain about giving toys away to her 🙂
This is all true. Follow what they love and they’ll be happier and you won’t have to fight them so hard to maintain it!
So, for the first few years I lost the battle of gifted toys. We had huge doll house sets and endless car tracks and it became too much because after all of the sorting and stacking and cleaning, they really didn’t enjoy those toys. We watched what they loved best- my daughter loved her teeny plastic kitchen set most and played with it endlessly and my son was (so typically) enamored with Thomas. On our move we did it, we took the big ticket items and Craigslisted them. We took the smaller pieces and passed them to friends. We used the spare change to purchase a nice wood kitchen with thrifted realistic accessories, a sweet teapot, we even made some table linens and my boy got a really great, solid wood train table that could easily convert for cars someday or models or anything. They won’t love them forever but they do love them dearly, take care of them well and don’t trip over the other unloved toys. The bulk of their other interests are crafts, books and our old iphones. lol Not too taxing on space.
I do not know if you plan on talking about clothing and kids. I hope so! But having older kids, I find that the beautiful clothes (hanna andersson and patagonia) I want them to wear and what they want to wear (kohl’s and forever 21, that look like they may not make it through the washer) is very different.
UGH! Tell me about this. My daughter is in a phase that involves only leggings. My husband told me to give in, that it will be fleeting. I worry she will show up to her job interview someday in a Snuggie and pajama jeans.
Meanwhile, mountains of adorable corderoy, jeans, skirts and dresses get passed onto her cousins. =(
J.Lee, I totally understand!!!! I husband says let them dress themselves and when they are 25 and look at pictures and say “I can not believe you dressed me in that!”, YOU CAN SAY …. “you dressed yourself, you picked out those clothes from the store and bought them home!” But as a mom I long for the days that they looked so sweet in what I like.
I have to remind myself that they did not bring back 90’s-neon to children’s clothing just to torment me. lol I’m only grateful she prefers cute boots to jellies and keds.
It’s true. I always wanted a Bitty Baby. I was so excited to find a second-hand doll for my daughter. I gave my toddler the doll at the hospital when my toddler was introduced to her baby sister for the first time. The toddler refused to take the doll home with her, and refuses to play with the doll.
Also, the giant bins of trains and duplos are 100% my husband’s fault.
I totally get the desire to cut back on toys, but after 8 years of being Mom to those who are now 4 children, I have learned to calm down in this area. I still have standards when it comes to tidying up and keeping things under control, but I just do not have time to micro-manage the toys that live in this house. There are far too many other things to do.
My daughter couldn’t keep things tidy if her life depended on it, and she has a number of toys that I have considered getting rid of, but she plays with them all in a bizarre, creative, mish-mash. As much as it may pain me to help her manage a few more toys, I see her imagination coming to life in a way it may not have if I had ditched half the stash of mismatched toys. I’ve always been orderly – when I was little, Barbies didn’t mix with My Little Ponies, they were separate things with separate play times. It all runs together for my girl, and though I don’t understand it, I will do my best to go with the flow of it. (For the record: these toys drive me crazy some days, but at the end of the day the happiness of this home is not just about mine.)
About once a year we do get rid of stuff they rarely play with, but I make sure to involve them in it because I want them to learn to discern what’s worth keeping, and when they can let go.
We have this in our house too – also multiplied by 3 kids. In my mind it is always a fine balance between kids who can easily find something they want to play with (which = peace and quiet for me) and a love of clear tidy rooms!
“Kid Clutter is Actually Parent Clutter.”
Why have I never realized this before?