We Left the City
It happened. We did it. We moved to a small town from downtown Vancouver, a metropolitan area with a population of almost 2.5 million. Yes this city-loving condo dweller, after considering the ‘where to move’ question for two years, now lives in a house in a neighbourhood that deer frequently roam through.
While some of our friends and family were surprised at the suddenness of our move, my husband and I researched alternatives to living in Vancouver for two years before making the leap. We took short one night getaways to Vancouver Island, Easter weekend jaunts to the Sunshine Coast and day trips to the Fraser Valley, not just as fun travel but as research for where to move to next. These trips really helped us refine what we were looking for as an alternative to living in a big city.
Since sharing our news about leaving Vancouver, I’ve had quite a few people either share their own big move story or tell me they were planning one themselves. I wanted to share our process of scouting cities and why we chose the one we chose to move to. If you could move almost anywhere how do you decide where to move?
Our wish list for our new hometown.
Not more than a day’s drive to Vancouver. We’d like to visit the city a couple of times a year to see family and give the kids some city experiences.
Walkable. Top of the list was being able to walk the kids to school. A grocery store, library, a few parks and a swimming pool/recreation centre that are walkable would be great too.
Medical and health services. Dentist, small hospital, availability of family doctors.
Diversity. We hoped to find a town with some cultural and ethnic diversity.
Affordability. Vancouver single family home prices are well over a million dollars. We wanted a city or small town where you could buy a modest home for a lot less than that.
Initially I felt strongly that we wanted to live in a city with a minimum population of 20,000 people. Don’t laugh/hate on me but I wanted to be in a city that was big enough to have a Starbucks and a Crossfit gym. This seemed like the right barometer for services and amenities. There would be a hospital and a sushi restaurant and maybe even a Mexican restaurant. There would be a good sized library, multiple parks and hopefully bike paths. A multiplex movie theatre would have been nice too and proximity to an airport with flights to Vancouver and Calgary.
Where to move when you want to leave Vancouver.
Wanting to be a day’s drive away from Vancouver did narrow the list, but there was still a lot of places on our initial list. Here are some of the locales we visited:
Nanaimo. A bigger 90,000 person coastal city on Vancouver Island with a direct ferry to Vancouver.
Courtney/Comox. Two smaller cities right next to each other in the northern Vancouver Island area.
Parksville & Qualicum Beach. Smaller seaside towns along the coast of Vancouver Island.
Gibsons & Sechelt. Small towns on the beautiful Sunshine Coast, just a short ferry ride from Vancouver.
Abbotsford and the Fraser Valley. An hour to two hour (or more depending on traffic) drive east of Vancouver’s downtown. Fast growing area that used to be mostly rural.
Kamloops. A 90,000 person city in the southern interior region of British Columbia.
Vernon. A 40,000 person city outside of Kelowna in the Okanagan region.
Smaller towns in the Kootenay region of southeastern British Columbia.
Apparently we’re pretty picky on new towns to live in.
As we toured through cities looking for that right mix of walkable and convenient we were continually stumped/disappointed by the familiar pattern of seeing a historic downtown that’s fallen into some disrepair/under use, with beautiful character homes nearby (also usually in disrepair) mixed in with some mid-rise density. What looked like an ideal place to live – convenient, walkable – had lost a good portion of its residents.
Outside the historic city centre, subdivisions and big box retailer/mall areas had formed. The ‘new’ area of the city was filled with families, schools and amenities and none of it was walkable. Sure you could live in the historic area of the city but the local elementary school may have closed down and the empty shops downtown meant you’d have to get in your car and drive out to a strip mall for some services. A lack of families in the area meant that the playgrounds were also being underused and not being maintained or updated. We saw this same scenario repeated again and again as we visited small cities and moderately sized cities across British Columbia.
We also visited places that ‘could’ be walkable but that no one walked in. Abbotsford was one of them. We tested out walking from the downtown area to a park and we felt invisible to cars. We had a few instances where drivers pulled into us when we were in crosswalks. Sure, Google maps may tell you it’s a twenty minute walk but it’s twenty minutes on busy streets where you’re the only pedestrian you see for the whole walk. Yet another reason that in deciding where to move, you really should visit the contenders yourself when possible.
British Columbia cities to live in when leaving Vancouver.
There were exceptions. We really liked the West End neighbourhood in Kamloops. It was just a few blocks of older houses but it was right next to the downtown and close to the river. There were two schools within walking distance and all of the downtown’s amenities. The other contender was the Easthill neighbourhood in Vernon. Again, it was an older neighbourhood right next to the downtown area. Both of these cities still had vibrant and in use historic downtowns. The kind of downtown that is pedestrian friendly and has mostly local retailers.
Other BC cities we liked were Sechelt and Gibsons on the Sunshine Coast and Parksville and Qualicum Beach on Vancouver Island. Being on the coast was very appealing. But housing costs were still relatively high with the proximity to Vancouver. We also started to come around to the idea that if we were going to uproot ourselves and move somewhere for more time and a lower cost of living, why not make that cost of living a lot lower than Vancouver. And maybe that meant not only moving much farther away but also somewhere with fewer places to spend money.
Kootenay towns that are family friendly.
Early in the summer we had a trip lined up to visit family in a small town in the Kootenays, a region in southeastern British Columbia that borders the US. We decided to take the trip as an opportunity to check out Kamloops and Vernon. I wasn’t hopeful about those towns because I have always viewed myself as being a coastal person. But I surprised myself. We liked Kamloops and its riverfront and the charm of Vernon and all the lakes nearby and they moved to the top of our where to move list.
And then we visited my brother in his small town and… we really liked it. We met a lot of locals. We told them we were trying to decide where to move and asked them about their experience living there. Everyone said they loved the lifestyle of living in a small town though most of them had been raised in big cities.
The comments just kept coming back that the slower pace and quality of life – lots of outdoor opportunities like affordable golf and skiing, great hiking, cycling, etc – and the affordability made for a great lifestyle. Add in stunning scenery and, oh yes, my brother lives there, and this small town had a lot going for it. We spent an afternoon floating the local river and I think that’s when Chris was sold on the place.
Leaving Vancouver
Six weeks after visiting the town for a family gathering we returned and put an offer on a house. A week later we listed our condo and it sold the following week. Three months after visiting this small town for a family gathering we moved here.
This town is small. Under 5000 people. There is no Crossfit. No Starbucks. No multiplex movie theatre. But it’s very walkable and easy to get around on by bike. It’s beautiful. And, the big one, we have family here. Not only do our kids have cousins just a few blocks away but we have my brother and sister-in-law.
We already know some of the challenges of moving to a new city from living overseas. As we thought more about making a move to something quite different from Vancouver the chance to move where we already had family started to make more and more sense. We’d have a social network as soon as we moved there. Other family already visited this town to see my brother and now it would be a two-for-one deal.
Change is scary. And stressful.
We’ve talked and planned all this through many times over but, you know, life happens. I can’t say for sure this will be our forever home. Maybe we’ll be trying to decide where to move again before we know it. I can’t predict the future.
But I do remind myself often of that parable about the two travellers. The first one asks a monk about the village he is heading toward and if he will like it. The monk asks him about the place he has come from and the traveller says it was terrible, rude people, worse food and terrible weather. The monk tells him he will find the next village much the same. Another traveller comes along and asks the monk about the village ahead and if he will like it. The monk asks him about the village he has come from. The second traveller says the village was delightful, the people welcoming, the food excellent and the weather invigorating. The monk says he will find that the next village is much the same.
Anywhere can be home if you want it to be. We were pragmatic about deciding where to move. But now that we’re here, I’ll be leaning on that parable about the two travellers and the monk as we enter into our first snowy winter and face the usual pains of adjusting to a new place.
*This town is so small that for now I’ll just be referring to it as our small town or if I think of something fun, a pseudonym. As my children get older I feel a need to keep some things private.
If you had a choice in where to live, how did you make the decision? Was it solely about where jobs were or lifestyle or family?
We have another 5 years at our current location then can move anywhere (unless the real estate market prevents us from selling our home and rental).
We loved the Qualicum and Parksville areas – spent some time there this summer. We love the ocean, and slow hippy vibe without outdoor markets – we love that we could walk year round (in rain, mind you) and mostly avoid snow shoveling. And it is still close to Victoria and Vancouver when we want some city time.
If snow and cold were not an issue we might choose to return to Québec city for a time – plus living is not expensive there (although we don’t know where all our kids will be living which could end up costing a bit in airfares for visits).
I love that we will have some freedom and flexibility to decide where we want to move and my plan is that we will not buy anything for some time so we can try out different areas cities/provinces if we wish. I’d like an apartment with a balcony and natural light – but something not too expensive so we can afford a bit of traveling and exploring.
Hi, I’m currently doing the same- little trips to test out other towns and I’m really picky too! I was wondering what you thought of the Comox Valley? Love the kootenays we go there in the summer a new life there sounds idyllic!
We looked around Courtney and Comox and felt there was too much sprawl to have an active transportation lifestyle. Also: the prices are going up up up there! You can buy a modest but in good shape house in small towns in the Kootenays for 300k. Courtney Comox was more like 450k+ when we were looking in the spring of 2017. But I’ve heard great things about the area, lots of young families, some start-up culture there of new tech and artisan based businesses. And you’re around 2 hours from Nanaimo so have a larger city to go to for amenities, concerts, etc.
It’s really liberating to let go of the ‘must be in Vancouver’ mantra and discover all the other beautiful and interesting areas of BC. We’re coming up on two months in our new town and we’re actually surprised how much we like it and so far, how little we miss Vancouver. Also, our lifestyle costs have plummeted. We’re not very frugal in terms of services, we like nice coffee shops and some casual dining, so having that almost completely removed as an option as been a big win for us. We have dinners with my brother that lives here, walk and ride bikes, play in the snow and cook at home exclusively.
Good luck on your search!
Oh darn we are thinking of moving too and I was anxiously reading to find out what small town you liked. I have all the same wishes on my list and really want it to be walkable. That’s why the Sunshine Coast was bumped. Really curious and I hope you might be willing to share with me. Thanks Michelle
As our family continues the debate “should we stay or go” there has definitely been some push back from extended family about us considering leaving the lower mainland. Many are saying, “you won’t be able to afford to return” or “you won’t be able to sell your house there” etc. etc. Did you experience any pushback from family, and if so how did you handle it? Any good answers I can use for these questions are greatly appreciated 😉
Just want to say the not being able to afford to go back is a real concern.
We will go back to Victoria some day but know we will have to rent. We are older and our kids are grown so that is ok.
Our family was mostly supportive but we tend to bring up the worst case scenario ourselves. As in, when telling people about our decision we were quick to also let them know we knew the downsides. We are lucky/cursed to work remotely so have the possibility of being anywhere – this isn’t the case for most of our family. Plus our kids are young and we’ve already moved around a lot.
I found most of the negative responses about our choice were reflections of that person’s own insecurities/or stress about their own situation. When you say to someone ‘we’re moving because we want more time and less stress’ it can make them wonder if they should do the same. It was actually a little bit like when we first got into minimalism. It made some people uncomfortable.
Unless your family plans to buy you a home – they don’t really have a say! Vancouver is such a strange beast because of the real estate situation. Those that got in early, 15+ years ago, have a hard time understanding the plight of those that are facing huge housing costs now. It’s the great divide I find. We felt really lucky to have bought a family sized condo in 2009 but it was still a huge expense and living in Vancouver required us to work a lot more than we wanted to.
Good luck!
P.S. so far we are loving our move!!! We’re surrounded by so much nature, pace of life is so much slower and we have more unhurried time with our kids.
We moved from London Ontario to Goderich a town of 8ooo on Lake Huron. I found the city to busy all the time. My husband was on board with giving it a go. We had visited Goderich over the years as we have some family there. We choose it because it was just over an hour from London, had a hospital , was on Lake Huron. Also not ot too small and was a town with a beach. Also activities all year round. We have family in London and did not want to be to far away. It was a dream come true for me when we moved here ! It was just my husband and myself as our kids our grown now but for me surprisingly was an adjustment! I grew up in a small town so that was not a new thing so not sure why. That was 4 years ago and we both love living here so much. Don’t miss city living at all even though we lived in a pretty awesome part of London (Wortley Village) Glad we followed mydream. I told my husband if he hated it we could move back as it was about us not me but happily he loves it!
As someone who lived in the Kootenays for 10 years I too thought you were going to Nelson! I am pretty sure I know which town you chose from the scenery. Don’t worry I won’t name it.😀
There will be ups and downs as I am sure you anticipate. I moved from Vancouver to Kimberley and while I have fantastic memories there were some tough days too. It is a big change..you will miss some things and not others. You will love some things about small town life and not others.
It takes time for a place to really become home.
I look forward to following your adventures.
Nelson had a lot of appeal but housing is more expensive there. And, crazy to say, too many great restaurants and coffee shops (and Crossfit!). Felt like we would still have a lot of temptation to spend there. We really wanted a break from that. I’ve heard good things about Kimberley.
So true, it takes time for a place to really become home.
I love the funkiness of Nelson. But to be honest I could not live there. It really gets socked in in the winter..grey, dark,and very oppressive feeling.
Apologies to all the Nelsonites out there!
The East Kootenays gets tons of sunshine. We built a house on 160 acres in a place that is suppose to get more sunshine than anywhere in the country. But the LONG cold,winters killed this west coast girl.
Wortley Village is a great part of London 🙂 I lived in London on and off for a few years and have fond memories of it. There are so many lovely small towns in Ontario. I briefly started looking looking through listings for London and St. Mary’s but we really wanted to be less than a day’s driving distance to family.
Yeah, as I mentioned before my husband and I are going through the same thing. We live in the San Francisco Bay Area and the average house is $925k, similar to Vancouver. We are considering moving to Sacramento because my husband can work in the Sacramento office or the San Francisco Bay Area office, but the weather is in the triple digits in the summer and we’re just not used to that. There is a mass exodus to Sacramento from San Francisco so a lot of our neighbors would be Bay Areans, but it just makes me sad, but what make me more sad is that my 3-year-old boy needs his own yard. He’s a big ball of energy so he really needs that. Just like you, I need to make that responsible decision and literally make a move. I have so enjoyed reading your post about this and I think it will help us make that final push. Congrats on your new home. 🙂 xo
Good luck! It’s a difficult choice to make. We loved the city but the opportunity to have more time and a slower lifestyle won out.
P.S. I couldn’t handle the Sacramento heat either!! I’ve been there quite a few times and the dry hot heat is intense.
Shoulda chosen Nelson. Starbucks, Crossfit, close to “border towns” and maybe like 10,000 people 😉
Anyways as a small Kootenay Town gal, we welcome you to the area!! I was hoping you’d pick here (Nelson) as it has a wonderful arts community, is a little bigger compared to some, and everyone is a huge outdoor enthusiast.
Keep us updated!
Nelson sounds amazing! But my brother isn’t there and housing costs are significantly higher. Lucky us – we will get to come and visit as we’re so close 🙂
We grew up in the U.K. (North east) and then went to university in the midlands before spending two years living on the other side of the world (literally – Auckland, New Zealand). When we decided to return to the UK we got a map of the country out and looked at all the places that would give us the job opportunities we wanted, then worked out which would give us the lifestyle we wanted. We settled on Bristol (south west England) and now live just north of the city in an area that is both suburbia and countryside at the same time. We love it and are so pleased it was a conscious decision.
This is wonderful! I have dreams of living in a small town one day. Congrats on your move and new adventures. I look forward to reading more about them in the future!
Thanks, Denise 🙂
Congrats on your new home! I can’t wait to hear all about the new adjustments and adventures are you guys settle in. I’m curious about the financial aspects too! Tons of blog content hopefully coming our way! Enjoy the journey in adjusting!
The financial aspect has been… amazing! I’ll talk more about it but it really has been like winning the lottery. We bought a house for a lot lot lot less than what we sold our condo for. It’s put us perhaps a decade ahead in savings for retirement. Very very very lucky.
Amazing!!!! I figured – we have to get back on the wagon but i need to make the time =/
Comgrats on your big move! I live in Grand Forks BC and our little town sounds a lot like yours. I grew up here and enjoyed the closeness growing up. The rivers and lake were a huge part of my childhood. Sure i have no idea what its like to have a starbucks but in exchange I know most of the employees at the local businesses in town and was taught by quite a few teachers in the schools my kids attend. There is something to be said for living in a close knit community 😊
Sounds awesome 😉
Congrats! Bummed you didn’t choose Victoria, but the houses are only affordable here if you’re coming from Vancouver or Toronto (like we did) and the pace is only slower in comparison to those two cities, too. We often talk about how the pace of life is so slow (and fantastic) here and our neighbours think we’re nuts. They think they live in a big, busy city! Excited to see how you settle in to your new community. Good luck!
Kendal – Victoria would have been a great option but we were looking to really cash out from our condo. Victoria is so expensive now! I lived in Victoria on and off for 4 years. It’s a beautiful city.
Congrats on the move! My mom moved from Vancouver Island to Grand Forks a few years ago – I think she’s working for the tourism board now with how hard she tries to pitch the place to me 🙂 If there was any chance I could find a decent job there we might seriously have thought about it. Rivers for inner-tubing, places to ski nearby, tons of great farm fresh food, the town decided that kids don’t need 5 days of school a week so they’re off on Fridays, etc. These little towns seem to do a better job than cities of embodying the whole work-life balance thing – I think you’ll be happy you made the move.
The jobs part is a tough one. We couldn’t have made this move if we needed to find local jobs. What made it possible was that my husband took a new role this summer that he can do remotely. I already work remotely/for myself. If we needed jobs it would be a different story. Not sure if we could have left Vancouver as my husband works in a very niche industry.
Very interesting article. All the more so as we have Just made a city and country move from London to Seville – a big change – with a 6 year old and 2 year old in tow. The main reason was for lifestyle and to have our children learn another language and culture and live our lives in a very different way. 6 weeks in and so far so good! The transition has been unbelieveably smooth due to helpful friendly neighbours and parents at school. It was a year in the planning .. and we are committed to a minimum stay of two years to test whether we can make it work
This post comes at a time in my life when I am about 17 days away from moving to a nearby city, and I’m so excited! We live in the town my husband has lived in for 50 years – a very small town. For some reason, I’ve never quite caught his affection for his hometown and I’ve done everything in the next town over, which has all the big city amenities. It’s a long story of me wanting to move, for years, but after Hurricane Harvey hit us last month, I finally convinced my husband to move. For me, it’s so exciting. For my husband, who hates change and enjoys the small town feel of knowing everyone, he’s having a harder time with it.
But, with every change comes growth and we all need to grow at times.
There is a big old world out there and if we never venture out, we are missing out!
Your new little city sounds amazing!
Blessings on your new adventure!
It sounds idyllic. Wishing you happiness in your new home. xxx
Huge congrats on the decision. My family and I (hubs, 3.5 yr old, 16 month old) just (1.5 weeks ago) moved to one of your contender cities from the lower mainland, adjusting with kids is a big effort and hard on everyone. Thank you so much for that parable, I needed that! We have moved for lifestyle reasons as well, and are looking forward to the winter!
Yeah! Congratulations on the move. And yes, my kids are all showing their ‘adjustment’ emotions and behaviour right now too. Keep your chin up. They’ll get used to it soon, right?
We’re strangely excited about the winter. Even though we’re not winter outdoor sport people and have no snow experience. I’m looking forward to a cold snowy winter with hopefully sun (??) as a change from the grey and wet of Vancouver winters.
This is so great Rachel! Congrats on the big move and I look forward to reading about your adventures in small town living 🙂
We thought about moving your way too 🙂